Steel Mag-NO-lias

I'm no dissenter!
I WANTED the Lifetime remake of Steel Magnolias to be GRRRRRREAT!
I mean look at this promo pic!

But as my sister stated, I should have known it was going to be poorly cast because Lifetime has Lindsay Blohan playing Lizzie T!

I love Queen Latifah, she's m'girl.... but she was no M'Lynn. And what episode of In Living Color did they drag her husband out of the background of??? Seriously, who WAS that dude? He was on my nerves! Like he got acting lessons from JJ Evans or something.

You know who would've made a GREAT M'Lynn? Phylicia Ayers Allen Rashad! But noooooo, she was cast as Clairee & barely there like I needed her to be. I mean she's Claire huxtable for goodness sake! She is THE ULTIMATE BLACK MOMMA! (sorry Flawduh Evans.)

I was OK with Truvy & Shelby & Anelle (was she SUPPOSED to be from New Yawk in this adaptation?). And goodness knows Alfre Woodard was just as Ouiser as Ouiser could get! But that Jackson? No indeed. I believed him more as a gangster on Sons of Anarchy (oh yes, I am all about the SAMCRO!) than he was a doting husband-to-be. I mean DUDE, where's your 'stache??? Seriously, that nude upper lip made me uneasy and queasy... canttrussit!

But I tell you what though... Lance Gross & that fine as wine Dr. Jay made that graveside scene worth watching two times, two tiiiiimes! Why didn't lance have a bigger role and that full facial hair the whole movie? And why wasn't Dr. Jay in every scene? He didn't have to speak, he could just be there in the background looking all Dr. Jay-ey. It certainly would have made the movie MUCH more pleasant to view!

I had a watch party with the girls for THIS!?!? We could've been watching Snapped & talking about boys & periods! or watching the original & not feeling all mehhhh. Like I said before, I don't automatically poo-poo a "Black movie" like some folks do & write it off immediately as foolishness or whatever other negative attributes people attach to them immediately. There are great black actors & films starring Black people(NOT ALEX CROSS!) but this was not one of them- no matter how badly I wanted it to be.

They should've renamed it Steel Buttercups, because it definitely built me up just to let me doooooown.