I have learned the art of letting things float away that don't mean me well. That includes people that call themselves my friends. I have started to advocate for myself in various spaces including speaking my mind to people and not really caring about whether or not they like me after I've said what I said. This has led to some people taking the coward's route of not addressing what I have said and others doubling down on their disdain. Either way, I'm not concerned. Does it sting at first? Of course, but I have a whole life to live and a purpose to carry out that clearly doesn't include them. I am learning to make peace with that.
In contrast to that, I have made connections with people who I am convinced are essential to my next steps! Men who are communicative, expressive and not afraid of feelings and emotions. Women who are supportive, caring, generous and not intimidated by other women's shine. I am grateful for what I have made space for after the garbage took itself out. I am concerned about the amount of garbage that keeps trying to sneak back in, but that's not my focus here today.
My family recently suffered a tremendous loss when my mother's best friend passed away suddenly last week. It's been tough because she was like family to us and watching my mother grieve has been difficult for me because I want to support her in the best way possible while I am also dealing with the loss. But even in this sudden tragedy, God has shown up and shone light on so much these past few days. It makes this process easier to deal with and the stages easier to get through.
Overall, I have grown in 2018 by leaps and bounds. I have been shown who my people are and I have been provided love and support from unexpected places. I have let go of who I thought I should be and started loving who I am even more. I don't think there are enough words or time to explain all that I have learned about who I am and what I am truly capable of but understand that I have a testimony!
As the new year begins and I get back on this road to my PhD, I cannot help but smile because there have truly been people, thoughts, situations and issues sent my way that were clearly intended to break me. Things that others have not survived, but this year, I gained a greater understanding of my purpose, my personality and my principles. I pray 2019 is as educational, inspirational, propelling and compelling as 2018 was!
Also, related but unrelated.... someone buy me this shirt:
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