All You Gotta Do is Say "YES!"

No matter what you may believe in: one God, many Gods, the universe as one being, WHATEVER... this blog is for YOU!

Source: http://www.miraclesarebrewing.com/

First, a little background... I woke up one night many years ago and remembered my childhood dream of being a Child Psychologist. I know, I was always a strange child. I had let other people's opinions and my self-sabotage talk me out of pursuing psychology in undergrad. I spent and am still spending my years after working in communications in some form or fashion. But that day I decided to get me some other education. I got my M.A. in Forensic Psychology in 2007. But by the time I was finished the program and started applying for jobs it was apparent I would have to take a pay cut! No thank you. I knew that I had decided to go after this degree for a reason, so I just waited for the opportunity to present itself.

Fast forward to this summer, I am in the midst of pursuing a degree in Mental Health Counseling in order to become a Licensed Professional Counselor and I have been doing pretty well in school (ok VERY VERY well, but I digress). I was invited to join the honor society and I thought that would be the end of my participation in the honor society because I'm busy! I received a sketchy email, with very few details about the opportunity to travel with the honor society overseas. But I just didn't understand the logistics. So after initially saying yes, I did no follow up and chalked it up as a loss. Some 6 weeks or so later, the faculty advisor for the honor society contacts me again and asks if I would like to attend a conference in Italy. I called a few people some of whom told me no because essentially I would be travelling alone. I prayed on it. I asked some questions to the advisor and I prayed on it some more. Checked flights form this area and was like OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO "DIS TEW MUCH"!

Then after a weekend of conflict in every sense of the word, I got the ok from "the universe": my boss said he didn't mind me leaving at the end of the fiscal year as long as I got my work done, my close friend randomly called and told me to check flights out of NYC.  Lo and behold, flights were $300 cheaper. So, I said "yes".

I called the advisor out of the blue and the more she explains to me about the trip, the more sure I am that this is what I was supposed to do. She mentioned that the person whose name is on the apartment rental would not be in Italy until later that night so she encouraged me to try to get a long layover somewhere. When I booked my flight I had to decide between Brussels and Zurich. The fat girl in me chose Brussels (waffles, beer, chocolate & steak frites!!) and I accepted the adventure to come. A week later, I receive an email from the professor asking me if I wanted to help present at the conference. ME? the government worker from DC with no counseling experience? the daughter of a single mother who was the first person in her family to graduate college? ME? What do I know? What can I share? Who am I to get up and speak to anyone on anything important? I am the person that is being asked to get up and speak to someone about something. So without hesitation, but MUCH trepidation in my spirit, I said "yes" again.

I go to the website yesterday and see my name and face as well as my "credentials" on the website for this international conference that is less than 2 weeks away. I realized that all I did was say "yes" & everything else fell into place. As I type this, I am fighting back tears because never in my wildest dreams did I imagine presenting on an international platform. I simply wanted to help the children in my area, but God has shown me bigger and better. And all I had to do was say "yes"!

I am learning to trust this process more and more each day! And I encourage you to do the same. The fear and anxiety may not ever go away, but get the hesitation out of your spirit and say "yes". Take that leap of faith & grab on to those opportunities presented to you. You never know where they will lead!

AMEN! 

NAMASTE! 

MAKE IT SO!

Four Little Words

No four words can wreck a friendsjhip QUITE like "why don't you just..."

It is the gateway to judgey, unsolicited advice and the quickest way to let someone know you don't understand their situation. While you may think you are dispensing sage wisdom,  the receiver ain't  receiving. I knoww that when people start a statement like that, I instantly think: "Why don't YOU just shut your face!" Often times people just want to vent so the unsolicited advice isn't even necessary. And the term will likely do more harm than good.

If you feel there is something that just MUST be said, why don't you just rephrase it and save yourself a cold shoulder, a severe side eye in perpetuity or being sent straight to VM forever and ever AMEN.

Many  times  we fail to see that we are "at fault" not in what we say (because if we are all being honest, certain things must be said [I loves me a good paranthetical phrase, don't I?]) but in how and WHAT we say. Maintaining a healthy friendship is about finessin that thing and not coming from a place of harm.

Who Can I Run To?

This is yet ANOTHER blog about friendship. *sigh*

I, in NO WAY purport to being an expert on the subject, but over the years I have learned what a friend is and is not through my mistakes and through others' actions. So today when I came across an ongoing situation between a friend and one of her old friends I began to notice some people don't know who their REAL friends are.

I am not going to go into detail about the situation, but this old friend, we'll call Olivia to avoid confusion, has recently told my friend to burn the road up because she doesn't need her. Olivia has decided that her internet friends are her real friends because they encourage her shenanigans, put up with her foolishness (for their own entertainment), and tell her "yes" when they should say "AW HELLLLLLL NAW!" (sorry for the "bad" words, but seriously here...)

Social Networking sites have given the mentally unstable, lonely, bored, lost and turnT out- much like Olivia- low-self esteemers a place to run wild & free and congregate with others just like them or worse! Instead of it being a place to keep in touch with folks, it has made many people lose touch with reality.

So many people say the internet isn't real life... and to a certain degree I concur. But at the same time these are REAL people with whom we are dealing. When I start taking people or things TOO seriously, it's time to let it go. Nothing on the internet should be THAT serious. If it isn't worth handling in person, then it's not worth getting upset about over the net. But there are Olivias out there that use Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, etc. for validation and comfirmation.

The first place I go when I have a real life issue is to the Lord, then inside, then my friends and family. The first place OLIVIA goes is to Facebook. There is a diconnect here! is NOTHING private, sacred, or just too embarassing for you to discuss in the wide open like that? Not family, not children, not sex, not alcohol.... EVERYTHING is for public dissection and consumption. Eventually the lines begin to blur between right & wrong, good & bad, friends & foes, reality & fantasy. Eventually you begin to craft your own reality from your internet life and that NEW reality becomes all that matters.

What Olivia fails to realize is that when it ALL really falls down. My friend cannot and will not be there to help her put it back together like she has done before. This internet family that she has built up like a fortress to protect her from the miserable existance that is her true reality likely won't be there when she REALLY needs something. She is relying heavily on them to fill the empty space within her and THEY are relying heavily on her for entertainment. But she can't see it because, for now the attention is all she wants and craves. Reality has become too much for her and has since been replaced by internet life. As she stands there contemplating on the RIGHT thing to decide... her internet friends are leading her in the WRONG direction and her real friends are being kicked to the curb or in SOME cases abandoning a sinking ship!

So what is the moral of this "story"? The internet is a place where REAL people congregate, but it is NOT your REALITY. REAL friends aren't only there when you want to go out & have fun... or when you turn on your computer. They're there when you have no place else to go, no money to spend and nothing to celebrate. REAL friends don't agree with all of your ideas and co-sign & "like" every update. They tell you when you're wrong, advise you to make better decisions, tell you what you don't want to hear and ask you to have a seat when you're doing too much. REAL friends don't air their issues with you on social networking sites. They pull you to the side, call you on the phone, and sometimes they even let you make your own mistakes & look silly all by yourself. REAL friends help you fill that empty space PROPERLY.

I just hope that the next time Olivia needs someone to run to, she has at least one REAL friend left.