Thursday, November 19

Your Grandmother Can't Cook!

This SHOULD be brief, but here goes.

Let me start off by saying: Your Grandmother can't cook! Just face it, not everybody's grandmother was throwing down in the kitchen. It's statistically impossible. So all of this noise about your grandmother being a better cook than Patti LaBelle needs to cease & desist IMMEDIATELY! I thought after a week the #PattiPie phenomenon would die down & we could all go back to running our business. But noooooooo..... people still all over social media hating or praising the pie with people responding with the opposite reactions in the comments. Here's the thing: SHUT UP ALREADY!  It is time for an intervention.

Dear friends & followed on social media,
Your Patti Pie obsession has affected me in the following ways:

  1. You won't stop talking about putting money in Patti's pocket & then equating it to something dumb. First of all, Patti made her money before her face made it onto the box! You think she waiting on her five cents per pie royalty check? Stop equating it to taking money from Small business, or at home business, or MLM. Going into Walmart & buying a $3.50 pie while you're stocking up on batteries & socks & thumb tacks is NOT THE SAME THING as going to a wine tasting with ONE bottle of whine & 45 minutes of someone convincing you to take a look at their business. 
  2. You eat store bought, pre-made food ALL. OF. THE. TIME! We ALL do! I mean NOBODY doesn't like Sara Lee & nothing comes closer to home than Stouffers. So what is the issue with PATTI'S PIE? I think this one is pretty black and white. *ahem* The same reason you go to the  same carry-out and get talked to like you're crazy cuz the shrimp & broccoli is BOMB. But let the black or brown chick at the soul food spot not smile when she gives you your change and you won't ever go back again. *steps off soap box and kicks it down the street* I'm DONE here!
  3. You only eat whiting! Stop acting like your palette is so refined you know the difference between allspice & cloves. Most folks only know like 3 kinds of fish: Whiting, salmon (in the can usually) & whatever is in the filet-o-fish at McDonald's (it's pollock btw... you're welcome!). Half the folk talkin about it's too much nutmeg in the pie probably read it somewhere & only have Season-All, lemon pepper, and hot sauce in their seasoning cabinet. But since everyone is talkin about Patti pie, you're suddenly a discerning food critic. Please be quiet & go eat your Carl Buddig ham sammige on white bread.
  4. YOUR GRANDMOTHER CAN'T COOK! I have had some of your grandmother's food/recipes and that joint wasn't that great. I mean how is it possible that EVERYONE'S grandmother can cook. I guess everyone knows how to sing too? Stop pretending your grandmother is a better cook than ANYONE. She's not, don't front. Just don't say anything. It's ok NOT to talk when everyone else is. I promise. Some of those plates on Cooking for bae were likely some of y'alls grandma's Sunday dinners. Your granny does NOT throw down and that is OKAY. Patti can & does & you know it. Patti is better than your grandmother at a lot of things... that doesn't mean gram-gram isn't a GREAT person, ok? Patti is not here to take your grandmama's place, no matter how much you secretly wish she could. 

WHEW! I am so glad I got that off my chest! And before you think you are going to come for me. I can indeed bake a mean sweet potato pie! CHECK YOURSELF! If anything I said here hurt you, it's because it's true & it's time for you to do some introspection. 

**As a side note stop acting like you don't have a family member that passes store bought food off as their own. OR the one that you KNOW can't cook & brings store bought food to thanksgiving. It's not an insult, it's a reality. I need folks to be real or BE STILL!

Monday, August 10

Are You Walking in Your Gifting?

I received a call today from someone I respect and admire spiritually, so when they told me that God had placed something on their heart to say to me I LISTENED! Basically they asked me if I was walking in my gifting. I had NO answer and that bothered me.

Not to brag, but I'm pretty good at quite a few things. So which ONE is my gift? I have dabbled in a few things but nothing seemed to STICK. So here I am, wondering what am I supposed to stick with in order to be able to truly say I am walking in my gifting? There's no online quiz that you can take (maybe there is but would you trust it?) that can help you determine what GOD has called you to do.
You have to hear it from Him.

I have too many things crowding out His voice. So it is time to seriously step away from some things and some people. As I am typing this, I have tears in my eyes because, until today, I thought I was going to be able to keep certain things and still prosper. But so much of what I have been dealing with lately- the good and the bad- has been temporary fixes and issues for things that require more than just a Band-Aid. I have to stop rationalizing with myself and realize I may need stitches or even surgery. It will not be an easy journey. It is one I have taken time and again.

Sometimes I hold myself to a high standard in some areas and not in others. I don't know where that came from, but I am going to keep down this path because this blog is for you and for me. I want what I want but I also want to have the moral high ground. Sometimes these things do NOT match up and I convince myself that it is okay. But it is not okay. I say I am not perfect so making mistakes is okay, and it is. But being willfully ignorant, oblivious, and wrong is not. I always say things are not always black and white. There are not only gray areas, but also COLORS.... MILLIONS of colors! And it is in the choosing of those colors that you determine how your life will be viewed. Cool tones, warm tones, grayscale? I feel like I have not been choosing the best colors lately. But luckily, I still have a little time to paint it over. I have time to draw a different path. I have time to upgrade my standards in ALL areas. I have time to proceed in my gifting. But only if I start TODAY & trust the process.

When I was looking for an image to go with this blog, I came across another blog that was over a year old but spoke to this same thing. This blog says that when you are walking in your gift it will just flow... and right now few things are flowing for me which can only mean one thing: Something is clogging it up! Time for me to do some unclogging and uncluttering to get this flow going and hear from God.

Monday, February 9

Grammys SHAMMYS!

Let me just say a few things about the Grammys. Keep in mind I didn't watch because... WHY!??!

  1. All the GOOD awards were given out before the telecast. Shout out to Chick Corea, Dianne Reeves, Robert Glasper and Lalah Hathaway for their awards.
  2. Beck is an artist in every sense of the word. Singer, writer, instrumentalist... ALL of that! "Respect artistry" INDEED!
  3. Kanye is out here on his STANLEY for Bey & she couldn't even come to his monsterpiece of a wedding. 
  4. Someone mentioned about Beyonce talmbout a billion dollars in the elevator and how she could've sent the elevator down for someone else to come up, namely Ledisi. Someone else mentioned that instead of up Ledisi would've gone out. To which I replied, like the Wonkavator, the elevator would have bypassed Bey in the penthouse & shot through the roof altogether!
  5. Beyonce did not bring down na'an' house. I can tell that from the still pics. Ain't no SOUL in there.... you hear me? Ain't. No. Soul.
  6. Because there is no soul in there. It does not surprise me that she ASKED to sing a song she had no business singing to be part of something she had no business being in with no regard for disregarding those that had every reason to be on that stage SANGIN!
  7. The people that vote for the Grammys get it right sometimes i.e. Beck... but more often than not they get it wrong i.e.  pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WAS BROADCAST!
  8. I'm not here for none of these folkses. And none of these folkses are here for me... And I'm fine with that. I ain't stannin or fannin out, I'm too old for that & so are most folks commenting on the other side of this.
  9. Is it true that Bey ASKED to sing a song that Ledisi had already been acknowledged and applauded for rebirthing, killing, resurrecting, and helping it ascend into the heavens!??! Then Beyonce comes out and is meh to the max wit it? Who ordered the snore pie with yawn sauce?
  10. Why can't Kanye & Bey & them go softly into that good night & give us a chance to miss them? You know how long Sade has been without an album? Do you know that BBD hasn't released new music this MILLENNIUM? Do you know that you can go have a seat somewhere and stop trying to shove your awesome down my throat? Because if you have to do that.... How awesome can you be, REALLY!?!?
In conclusion, the televised Grammys are a sham! *bangs gavel*

Also, I realize there is no Part 2 to my Italy blog.... because... life... so... it's coming if you still care.