Tuesday, May 25

Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues (or IS there?)

(courtesy of  http://www.toonpool.com)

It's summer in the city. And for some reason, when the weather gets hot, I do too. I guess spring & summer in the city looks GOOT on me! yes "goot"!

The number of guys that "try to holla" goes up exponentially with every degree over 70! (it's a scientific fact that is empirically based on my on research... thesis forthcoming, or not.) But seriously, the men in this city turn into true predators or something during the warm weather. Howling at everything, sniffing around, salivating... *sigh*

The guys I know always say just because a man says "hi" doesn't mean he's trying to holler. If that's the case, then they need to tell the other guys to stop trying to holler after saying "hi". Too often, after saying "hello", "hey", "whaddup", "Good morning, sweetheart", etc. a conversation tries to rear it's ugly head. And some guy that CLEARLY believes in the law of averages tries to get his stone cold mack on. For years, we have been trying to figure out how to nip this in the "butt", as someone ignant used to say- I forgot who.

Things I've tried:
  1. Pretending not to hear them before or after the hello. That usually gets me cursed out as I walk away.
  2. Pretending to be deaf. I know what you're thinking, that's not nice. But that was in my not so nice days back in '01 when I had no worries, no cares, no religion & no respect! Ha! This only made the dude talk LOUDER, by the way.
  3. Pretending to have a boyfriend. This only causes them to invoke the "Male Friends Clause" which clearly, if you don't have it in  your relationship, then your man ain't a good man!
  4. Smiling and politely declining as I walk away. THIS, apparently is the most heinous of reactions because THIS has gotten me embarrassed. I have been literally HOLLERED at for this as well as had a man sing "Come & Talk To Me" from across the plaza @ Judiciary Sq. This also has gotten me SHOVED in the club, to which I responded with a shove and a blind rage and barrage of words that surely involved expletives. (I don't really recall as I went deaf after being SHOVED by a grown man.)
The situation may seem hopeless, however, I found a solution in the most unlikely of places. I was talking to a married friend of mine outside of  her place of business in the heart of SE, DC. Two unseemly guys were walking toward us as we chatted on the sidewalk. They were eyeballing us from the time they rounded the corner, until the walked up on us at the other end of the block. My girl S, paused in the conversation and in the MOST polite and no nonsense manner I have ever borne witness to she said: "How y'all doing?" They quickly said: "Hello," and added some pep to their saunter. I said, "WOOOOW, that WORKS!?!?" She gave a half-laugh and said, "Girl, yes!"

I was DUMBFOUNDED and relieved. Cobra Kai ain't got NOTHING on me now!
FINALLY, I have figured out how to verbally sweep the leg!

Hopefully, the guy is so off guard that he loses his balance and thus,
I win!

Saturday, May 15

Bri's Weird Song of the Week- Daydream in Blue

THis song was sampled by Lupe Fiasco and sung by Jill Scott... but clearly the original has a  little more going on. Check the lyrics below:
Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day.
Daydream, I dream of you amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.

I dream a dirty dream of you baby
You're crawling on the bathroom floor,
You float around the room and you're naked,
Then you're flying out the bedroom door,
I dream a dirty dream
I dream a dirty dream

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day.
Daydream, I dream of you amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.

I dream a dirty dream of you baby
You're swingin' from the chandelier
I'm climbing up the walls 'cause i want you
but when I reach ya, you disappear,

I dream a dirty dream
I dream a dirty dream

I daydream (x4)

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day.
Daydream, I dream of you amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day.
Daydream, I dream of you amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day.
Daydream, I dream of you amid the flowers,
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.

I'm Sorry, You Were Saying?

Let me start by saying, I've been trying to "give a brother a chance" lately, much to J's chagrin.

Yesterday, I was driving out of a parking garage and the attendant happened to be black. I was really surprised. He was asking me why I wasn't smiling and so on & so forth. He asked if I went to church and said he was a minister of music at some church or another. I thought oh a church boy, how nice. I gave him my number, to be nice... (SHUT UP, J!)

He said something weird about his church, something I didn't have time to get into because there was a line forming behind me at the gate. I figured I would still see what he was talking about if and when he called. So an hour or so later, he calls and.... I spent 15 minutes BARELY listening. He began to preach... but not even in a way that made sense. But moreso in a manner that sounded rehearsed and as a catch-all, come to Jesus, I know better than you do way. His spiel was mind-numbing and all I could do was say "oh", "uh huh", and "ok". Everything he said he would quickly defend with some rambling scripture-based mumbo jumbo.

He name-dropped some ministers at mega-churches in this area. I had NO idea who he was talking about. I told him, I go to church every Sunday but I'm not all super churchie. To me a churchie may be different from other's ideas on "churchy". Churchie is a combination of church and groupie. Churchie folks are in it for the status and the sense of being holier than thou. When I told him I didn't know who he was talking about when he said something about some guy at some church as if he was THE guy to know if you knew anybody anywhere at any church. His reply was, I'm not churchy either, I didn't get into the church until I was 13. *blank stare* Sooooo, how is that not churchy or churchie??

Later after he spent 12 minutes ranting and 3 minutes name-dropping he said, "But I'm not tryna preach to you!" Imagine my surprise! "Are you sure about that?" I asked. He said he was just blah blah blah *more spiel here* He says that his church teaches him to go out and recruit souls and share the message of Jesus Christ or something. Now please understand, I am not mocking discipleship in anyway. I hope this doesn't come off that way; anyone that knows me knows I love the Lord. What I am mocking is the dude himself. My response to him was: "Well I always thought that part of discipleship was gauging how receptive your audience is to your message." It reminded me of my homie Leon's blog about the Hebrew Israelites in Columbia Heights (check it out here) and how they just YELL at you as you walk down the street, instantly making you NOT want to hear what they are talking about!

The point is, I ain't wanna hear all that! I am all for letting people know that you follow God, but what I heard from him was just short of cult-like, brainwashed, defensive babbling.

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling him. All red flags had been raised & all bets were off. I was ready to get off the phone and pray because my spirit was THAT disturbed! He made some other churchie comment about listening to some music for church on Sunday. I bid him adieu and instantly saved him in my phone under a name that would ensure I didn't accidentally answer the phone for him again.

Thursday, May 13

If You Want Me to Stay

Click play, then read... you know the drill

Today, I have heard and been reminded of two tales of ungrateful females and their respectuve men. Now, I am not saying that these men involved have been without fault but in these two particular cases, these two men have been trying to make amends.

In one case, there was the guy that wanted to break up with the girl and she wouldn't let him. She continued to claim him and call him, but he was going out with his peeps & hanging and tlaking to her when he talked to her. I didn't understand it. I asked why were they still together, he said: he was trying to make it work... I dind't understand. When they broke up, I was like well, it's about time. And now, they're back together.... Hmmmm.

In another case, there is a guy that is notoriously selfish in relationships. and he was trying to make an effort in this one. She doesn't seem to be meeting him half way. Yet he tries to make it work. And she still does what she wants and chastizes him for not doing what she wants. And she has told him previously to "do what he has to do".

Now in BOTH cases I only got the guy's side, but either way it just seems so DUMB. (Please pronounce the "b".) Why would you want to work things out with someone that isn't budging? What is there to work out? Why would you want to keep someone around that wanted things on their terms? Why would you want someone to stay that clearly wasn't worth staying WITH?

Sly says:
You got to get it straight
How could I ever be late
When you're my woman takin' up my time
How could you ever allow
I guess I wonder how
How could you get out of pocket for fun
When you know that you're never number two
Number one gonna be number one

I took that to mean, he's being a good man to you, yet you still want to hassle him or treat him otherwise.
But this begs the question, what does it take to have someone WANT you to stay? Do you have to act psycho and flip out over little things? Do you have to sit at home and wait for him to call? Do you have to act disinterested in whether he stays or goes?
I'm not understanding what has them so intent on wanting these females to stay around when some of the qualities they have shown in the past have been less than admirable. And for those that are saying it's "that" in one case I know it's absolutely NOT "that", which REALLY has me buggin! I don't get it!
*scratches head and presses play again*
Tell me somethin Sly!

Monday, May 10

Found Writings: Untitled

(found this on a piece of paper in my old desk)

I was
Holding onto a dream
When I was
Gut-punched by reality
And out of my hands, I watched it fly
And I wondered
What would become of me...

My body, still reeling from the blow,
Flew through the thinning air around me
But I hit the ground with my mind still intact
And I land at your feet

What are you going to do about it?
Can you care about me?
Can you live without me?
I have to wait and see
It's not up to me

You are my new reality
Can you
Will you
Care for me?

Saturday, May 8

When You Think of Me

Today while overdoing it in the mall I ran into a guy I knew from undergrad. This wasn't just any guy, a few years ago at homecoming I realized how CUTE he was! We exchanged numbers and began a torrid long distance love affair. HA! He used to get my form warm with his texts and picture mail. and one day, I was down near his way and we went out. Shortly thereafter, that was it. no more phonecalls, picture mail, nothing. There's MUCH MUCH more to this part of the story, but that's not the point here. The point is he did something mega wack to me & I didn't do a thing about it.

I remembered that so I did just that! I saw him again last year at my undergrad homecoming and stank faced him a little bit and he truly acted like nothing was wrong. I spoke & kept it moving.

Then I saw him today in the mall and greeted him cheerfully. He told me he had moved to the area about 2 years ago & asked if I had heard he was in the Army. I thought to myself "Are you for real, why would I even care?" But I graciously smiled & said no. I was like well good to see you and sashayed away. And I wondered if like in Eric Benet's song: if he felt like dying, or if his world stopped spinning when he thought of (or in this case came face to face with) me. I often wonder that when I see an old flame & they aren't looking too hot. and I know that they know that I am looking GOOD! *tosses hair*

Bri's Weird Song of the Week- Like to Get To Know You

Stumbled across this song a few years ago back during the Launchcast days of Yahoo. The harmonies remind me of The Carpenters a little. But I love it. I found it to be sooothing during a VERY rough time I had late last year. ENJOY!

Wednesday, May 5

Putcho Fives in the AIYUH!

For the past few years, the girls & I have gotten together for Cinco De Mayo which we ALL no isn't even celebrated in Meh-he-co, but WE enjoy it! It usually consists of us gathering at someone's home, eating good food (like my margarita salmon) and blending up some margaritas.

This year, J & I have decided to do a little something different. We are going to go to lunch & make it last til siesta time lol. We'll see how it goes!

During the past Cinco gatherings we have had some classic lines come to life such as: "Who started the fire?" which apparently you are supposed to chant when after: "The roof, the roof, the roof is on FIYUH!" and then there was the year that J's supersessy brother (sorry J, I couldn't resist!) was just hollering out CINCOOOOOOOO in the middle of the bar & telling people to put their fives in the air. So tomorrow at noon, feel free to putcho fives in the air, put on your giant sombrero and take a nap under a cactus... (that wasn't intended to be prejudiced, just humorous... LIGHTEN UP!)