Monday, August 31

Skinny Jeans WIth Dresses.... on BOYS?

So a friend of mine has pointed out the latest trend on these DC streets. Islamic style attire... WHY?

I did notice the other day a young man in a long black thobe and a taqiyah- in essence a long black dress and a muslim style beanie- with just a HINT of skinny jean peeking out. I was impressed by this young man's religious convictions that enabled him to walk through a otriously unsafe neighborhood in such garb. Until I began seeing more and more young men dressed this way. Now, three wordds come to mind: WHAT THE HE**?

Why is this the new fad? Why is this the new white tee and jeans? Why are the little boys in DC such followers? Why can't these kids come up with a new fad that is actually ATTRACTIVE? (Gray sweatpants and New Balance will forever by in my heart!) *looks off into distance thinking of HIM in gray sweatpants*

Aaaaaaaand I'm back...

Why on earth would a man want to put on slim fit jeans and a dress? in the summer? in DC?

Which leads to the next question: Is it disrespect to do so? these garments aren't fashion to those of the faith, they are direct reflections of the wearers religious commitment. By these non-adherents rocking it in the streets, is that minimalizing the sacred nature of the garments and their meanings... Which, byt the way, I don't know the history of, I'm just wondering wassupwitdat...

Me? Man Bash? Nooooo!

So last week a dude I know accused me of being a man-basher. I thought about it and I must say I am not for two reasons:

  1. I don't put ALL men in ONE category. Most of my blogs have been about specific men and have been written in moreso a HELPFUL light than a "He ain't sh*t" light. If you read deeper into what I am saying it applies to men and women alike. Even as I am writing my blogs and giving out unsolicited advice, I often take alittle piece with me. I don't apologize to anyone who is offended by the things I say here because my intention is to spread the common sense and help cut out the foolishness. If you are upset by THAT then mayhaps you are PART of the foolishness, yes? Hmmmmm, thinkaboutit...
  2. I meet my share of "good" guys too. I likes me a nice guy. I just don't blog about them because i actually value my relating-ship (not to be confused with relationship or sexual relations) with them. I don't want to speak too much too soon, or put them on blast, or do anything to otherwise upset the balance of what we got working. And I don't want anyone tryna get at what I got... (just kidding, not really)

So with that said, I will continue to post my not-so-positive interactions with men I know as a tale of precaution and a helpful allegory... lol. 

And again I say, if you find my re-telling of foolishness past to be man-bashing... then maybe you need some introspection. Often times we dislike those things in other people that we do not or cannot see in ourselves.

Thursday, August 27

Don't Save Her

... she don't wanna be saved!- Project Pat
Such a profound statement! Excuse me if I have gone through this before, but I have recently heard that one of my male acquaintances is still out in these streets trying to "save his ex"-a direct quote. (My source on this is an unrelated entity who is friends with his new flavor of the month.) Wow, dude, really?

The last three conversations, I have had with him have somehow been about HER- the ex. And inevitably, I end up saying... "Well, I would never do that." Which consequently gets me into my: "I obviously don't have enough drama to get/keep a man" speil which is more schtick than actual fact. Which then leads him to the question, "Why are you so focused on a relationship." Which then convinces ME that HE is crazy because HE was the one talking about his ex... not I!

He's mad at her for now hanging out with the dudes he introduced her to at the places he used to take her. AAAAAND... he suspects that she has known one or two of them biblically. Wow, dude, really? Why do you care? You are so extra busy worrying about her, that you are letting GOOD women pass you right on by. So busy trying to show the ex that you are having fun without her that you aren't even having fun.

I have wondered why he cared, but I knew if I asked I would not get an answer, but the fact of the matter is he is still in love with her. And they say women have baggage? This dude is draaaaaaggin this girl around with him from place to place and experience to experience for what purpose. I don't know or understand, but I find it really quite disturbing that someone who seemed so self-assured and fascinating, initially, is not what he appeared to be at all. I don't think he realizes just how deeply affected he is and how much it SHOWS.

Drop the baggage, baby, and take off the cape, sweetheart. Maybe try some yoga or some therapy, because you are letting her WEAR YOU DOWN and she is loving every second of it. She's winning and you have lost it. At first, I was trying to save you, but I know better. But I do want you to save yourself. Ok? Ok!

Tuesday, August 25

What Ever Happened to "Hello"?

I just got back from an AWESOME fro yo pilgrimage to the Mecca de FroYo, TangySweet. As I journeyed forth, there was a young man leaving the courthouse in full Sobiato, or Squares, or Shooters or some other such DC-style apparel company complete with a headband... (BOOOOOOOOO!). He saw my co-worker and I walking toward them and he stops as we walk by & commences to" "Hey Booboo. Damn, girl... hey booboo, booboo!"To which I reply, without turning around, "Oh no, uh uh, that is NOT okay!"My co-worker got upset and asked me why I didn't just ignore him and I said because he needs to know that that is NOT ok!
Which got me to wondering... whatever happened to "Hello"?
I am cute on my good days... and I have my BEST days when I am smokinazzhawt, but for the MOST part, I think I look like a 19-year old who doesn't want to be bothered. But for SOME reason, men in this area looove to try out the law of averages, I think. Because there is NO other way to explain some of the things I have heard and encountered. And by things I have encountered I mean the creatures that look like they slithered out of the sewer just to "holla" at some chicks. But how else do you explain me in a dress and heels and a workbag and you in a raggeLy wife beater with your nipple hanging out of the side, and olllllllld ratty balling shorts and turnT over shoes. And before anyone says anything about giving him a chance, LET IT GO! I am so over fixer uppers, because even when you're done fixing them up, they are still broken down. HA! But that is not even the point here... The point is, just say "Hello." that is it, that is all... no more of this, PLEASE:
  • "Why you lookin so mean?"
  • "Where your husband at?"
  • "Can I walk witchu?"
  • "That ice cream must be goooood." (I was actually eating froyo at the time)

Whatever happened to regular old conversation after intentional eye contact? Now it's like you can't look up anymore or someone is going to swoop in and put the full court press on you. I guess that hounding has to work or they wouldn't do it, but it makes it bad for those women that don't give into it. Which makes it bad for the men who just WANT to say "Hello" because now we don't want to acknowledge you and end up in a no-win conversation.

The other night while out at a bar, a young man with tattoos on his hand started talking to me. I engaged him in conversation because there is no reason to be uncordial (is that a word?) at a bar. So as he is talking to me and I am barely making eye contact or convo with him, I begin checking my Twitter ( and FB.

That is when it began.

Hand Tatts:"I'm just tryna get in the phone..."

Me: *smile and quickly put the phone down*

Hand tatts: *continues to talk, I get a text* "I'm sayin, you gonna put my number in ya phone?"

Me: *laughs a little uncomfortably and puts my phone down*

Hand Tatts: "I left the house and came down here for nothing?"

Me: *with the say whaaat face* "You didn't even know I was going to be here, you don't even KNOW me."

Hand Tatts: "But you're here now, so I'm just tryna get in the phone."

Where at do they do ANY of that? Was he wanting to get in the phone in hopes that one lonely lonely desperate night I would be scrolling through my phone and call him out of boredom/desperation? Really? REALLY! is that the BEST you can do? How am I supposed to feel about that? But this is the mess I am talking about. Say "Hello", pay attention to the context clues and body language before trying to steamroll your way into my life/phone. If I were interested you would know... plain and simple.


Friday, August 21

Poetic Potential

I wrote this high off my frozen yogurt buzzzzzzzzzz:


This has potential
To be as wrong
As it feels right.
I'm hanging on
Because you are
And that
Gives me faith.
I have got
To stop my words
From getting in the way.
I have got to enjoy
The right now
Right now
Whether it ends right now
Or continues... I must
Enjoy it all and
Soak it up, Take it in
Write it down, remember it
Cherish it for all of its
Potential amazingness
All of its potential disastrousness
All of its potentially infinite endings.
This may be the beginning to something...
Not sure what, or why,
or how
But that is perfectly o.k.
I have to keep remembering that
It's perfectly O.K.
Not to know the when and
Where of it all
As long as I enjoy
it all
Smile about it all
Be thankful for it all
Cherish it all
For all it is,
All it is not,
All it could be
All it may never be
All it has to offer

Blog Blurb: What's that smell?

So the other day my E-crew was discussing Oprah digging Jay-Z's scent, among other things, and the question was posed: what do you think certain celebs smell like. I took a few moments from my killer finals and came up witht his VERY random list... ENJOY... or don't!

  1. I think Denzel smells like rich cedar & sexy...
  2. I KNOW Brad Pitt STINKS to high heaven!
  3. Black Thought of The Roots & Dwele smell like sexy sultry body oils... only Dwele kinda smells like weed breath too
  4. Lil John DEFINITELY smells like weed and hennesy & his mustache smells like last night's chick...
  5. Puffy smells like potpurri satchels & scented hangers cuz he is STUCK IN THE CLOSET!
  6. Jamie Foxx smells like cigarette smoke, and Jean Paul Gaultier
  7. Leonardo DiCaprio smells like pipe tobbaco & bologna...
  8. Reggie Bush... FINALLY smells like chocolate again! (then I found out he is likely back with Kim Kardashian, so he is back to smelling like a sour wash rag!!!)

Monday, August 10

Digging the skin you're in...

I love me! I think I am so cute & sexy! I will pantie prance in the mirror to song after song, HOWEVER... part of loving me & understanding how I am fearfully & wonderfully made is wearing what looks GOOD on me & accentuates the positive while not drawing too much attention to the negative. A few weekends ago (I know I am late, but life has tried to kick me in the teeth recently), I saw that this is a lesson many women in this area haven't learned. I was at the Summer Spirit concert with Erykah Badu & Raphael Saadiq & Chuck Brown. AWESOME concert, not TOO much foolishness in my immediate vicinity, but when I ventured away from our little area of the lawn... I witnessed some fashion travesties!
  1. IS THAT A ONESIE?? Lemme start by saying, there are a HANDFUL of women that can get away with a romper ANYWAY. And I have no problem with chicks who are thickerrah, but how you figure if you are 4 foot 11 & 200 lbs, you are going to wear an ashy black onesie with gold buttons up the back. A) where did you buy that? & B) who buttoned it for you? Because clearly they were NOT your friend. And then to throw on the fanny pack which I am SO sure was "designer" and BOOTS... BOOTS, baby? really? no.
  2. PLEATHER WEATHER Ok, in the FALL at the CLUB, or a lounge... I could sorta accept a pleather minidress that zips up the front. But this is AUGUST and we are outside. I know your whole everything was sweaty & sticky all up and THROUGH that thing. P.U. Booboo!
  3. DON'T SWEAT THE TECHNIQUE So you wanted to be chill AND show ya lil midriff... ok, ok... But why are you wearing a half sweater? and why did you then decide to couple it with a yellow skirt made out of sweatpants material... and why was the top oinch & the bottom yerlo? why, hunny? huh? I just want to understand...

This is just three of the various and a-sundry travesties I had the mispleasure of observing. But what struck me the MOST was how many people were out there to see and be seen. Those tickets were NOT cheap! And I witnessed sooo many women AND men parading back and forth looking at whoever was looking at them look at them look at each other. I saw Sunday's best on the men & stilettos on the women. We are OUTSIDE & you have LAWN seats... why are y'all soooo overdressed to unimpress? Makeup melting! Combovers shrivelling back!

I am all for flaunting what you got. But there is a time, place & level of taste that goes along with it. But hey, y'all keep doing y'all! Just know that I will not hesitate to comment... I mean that IS why you do this, right? So someone will acknowledge your existence, right? So hey, all I'm REALLY doing is fulfilling your wishes!

I'm just statin....

BTW, I was wearing a halter style feather print maxi dress & my faithful companion was wearing jean shorts & her newly purchased MJ Tank top... we came to chill, not ill!