Thursday, February 7

The end of the beginning

I said...
"Good Morning, Heartache!"
As I kissed your forehead
Like I do every morning.
I have gotten used to these
Melancholy Mornings
Agonizing Afternoons
Erratic Evenings
and Mournful Midnights.
Content with less,
Concerned with nothing,
I slide through life
On wheels of self-deprecation.
Convinced that the best thing to do
Is nothing more than...

Stay...

Read this with your hand on your hip & a lil roll in your neck

What you NEED to Do

You need to start acting right
Instead of looking left
You need to save my time
Instead of wasting your breath
You need to unearth your feelings
Instead of covering your bases
You need to start moving more slowly
Instead of treating relationships like races
You need to understand what it is you seek
Instead of always saving your hide
You need to live life in the now
Instead of like someone just died
You need to open up your eyes
Instead of closing off your thoughts
You need to worry about what you have right here
Instead of what you could have got
You need to give this more time
Instead of waiting 'til it's too late
You need to show me a little love
Instead of letting your friends hate
You need to step out of the dark
Instead of keeping your heart so light
You need to try to make things work
Instead of playing all your life!

More Poetic (In)Justice

Untitled

You say you are my friend
But I don't think you know
What the word means
It involves so much more
Than your selfish heart
Is willing to give
or even knows how...

I have shed tears for you
I have hurt for you
Crossed lines for you
Lied for you
And all you could do
Was shrug or complain
Never fully understanding
How your hurt
Was hurting me
Never fully caring
How your pain
Affected me

Not that it was your problem
Neither was the burden
I bore for you
But I took it on
Only to have it
Thrown in my face
Because the job I volunteered for
Wasn't done to your liking
I wish now
That you had fired me then
So I could now be free
Of the friendship burdens
You place on me
Walking on eggshells
Tip-toeing around
My own damn thoughts
And sensibilities
It used to be a thankless job
Now it has evolved
Into a permanent position
With very little benefits
But plenty of overtime
No time off and very low pay
No chance of promotion
Just futile work
And no returns
On my investment.

© 2006

Digging in the Crates

I found some words from years ago that I wanted to post for posterity.

Grace
Your countenance phases me
It's amazing how easy
You tease me with your eyes
My thighs no longer get warm
I have formed quite a new
Opinion on you, one without
Any doubt that you are powerful
I didn't realize until today
You have a way about you
No doubt, you have grace
In your face and your smile
After awhile, I can't deny you
Can't slip by you, you see it all
Be it all, free it all when I call on you
You do what it takes to make me,
Shake me, break me free from
Any self-proclaimed misery
You make me happy without crying
No denying, you have grace
In your face and in your voice
I have no choice but to
Believe in you, it's sincere
What I hear from your lips
It eclipses anger, erases fear
When I hear your words, I take heed
Even when I read them, the grace
In your face and your soul
Plays a role in soothing me
The savage beast that seeks to be
Released, unleashed on someone
Who's done me wrong
Interrupts my song
Your grace meets me in that place
Where no one else knows
And I suppose no one but you ever will
Where your wisdom fulfills its destiny
Soothingly charmingly gracefully
© 2006

Monday, January 7

Queer as YOUR Folk...

My girl T was in town for her birthday. We partied at what I would dare to say is the only real Saturday Party for grown folks who have been in the area long enough to know that H2O SUXX! There was a "birthday party" being held there for a male organization. Initially, I thought, GREAT, college-educated eye candy. The reality was FAR different. There was a GREAT mix in there initially... the ratio was pretty damn good. Then, suddenly I looked up & it looked more like a jousting contest!

I had spent so much time in our little corner, partying with my people, I didn't really pay attention to what was going on outside of the velvet ropes. As the night wore on & the women wised up to what i had failed to observe, I noticed the ratio had changed DRASTICALLY & what could have been equated to shooting fish in a barrel was more like trying to lure a bunny in with raw meat, he ain't interested.

There was even a tiny young man in there parading around with a hanger that held a cream blazer emblazoned with the organizations insignia and what appeared to be flames at the bottom. He danced around holding it up & I thought, this is terrible. I looked out at the dancefloor packed with men & a few women dancing among themselves & I thought, this is terrible. I was shoved out of the way by a guy hurrying to greet some other man & I thought, this is terrible.

Let me be clear, it made me no difference... I was there to party with my girls, but the sheer magnitude of what I witnessed was shocking. I jokingly told one of my girls: "This is the gayest party I have ever been to & I used to go to TRAXX!" But, as we exited the venue one of the promoters was standing outside and I told him: "There is some gay shyt going on inthere". He asked like what & I told him about the tiny man with the emblazoned blazer. My boy's response was something along the lines of he was trying to make a sale, he makes those & he sells them to different organizations, even MINE! I repeated : "there is some gay shit going on up there..." but before I could again say that it was gay, my friend cut me off with a sharp: "I know."

My girl & I continued out of the club past a group of bouncers and one of them noticed I was kind of pouting.
Bouncer 1: She got the serious pouty face. What's wrong?
Me: There's some gay shit going on in there.
Bouncer 2: See, n***a, I TOLD you!

With that confirmation, my girl & I took off running & laughing loudly toward the car. All in all (or is it all and all?), I had a good time. Special thanks to Twanks for pouring the drinks so LIGHT-handedly, otherwise I would probably STILL be in bed today. Happy birthday, T.... please don't never come back to DC again... see you in the 1-2-3... PIOYH!

Saturday was really SOMETHING... that's all I can say.