Reclaiming Your Power

Let me start by saying, I am talking to me and  you.... Consider this a collective pep talk.

Who are you? What defines you? What do you live for and what can you do without? Think about the things to which we give power in our lives: careers, relationships (familial, platonic and intimate), hobbies, volunteer work, frats and sororities. You may even want to make a list.

The things we put our thoughts, time and energy into are the things to which we give our power. 

Now, think about how much brain and soul space those things inhabit. What's on your mind when you wake up? What do you think about in those quiet moments? 

Next, consider how you feel when you think about those things. Which things bring you joy, peace, happiness, satisfaction? Which things lead  you to feel worry, stress, depression, unfulfillment?

Finally, truly think about what is worth fixing, mending, or doing better and what is better left alone. 

Does that change how you previously defined yourself? 

We oftentimes find ourselves stressing over things we cannot control and thereby giving those uncontrollable things our power and in turn allowing those things to control us and sometimes break us all of the way down. The simple things are not always easy and the easy things are not always simple. Simply letting go of the self-definitions that are causing us internal strife is hard work! But it's work that we must do in order to relieve those things of their power. It's much easier to not do the work required, but that often ends up unnecessarily complicating our lives at some point. 

If you were honest with yourself while reading this, you've got some reframing to do. Let's mend these broken places. We are allowing things to define us that are drawing negativity and we are much too fly for that! It's going to take some time, but even a small step is progress! 2 Timothy 1:7 says: For the spirit God has given us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

SO, GO TAKE YOUR POWER BACK!

pic from: https://lisagawlas.wordpress.com/2017/02/23/the-ego-the-master-of-matter/

Stop, Take a Step Back....

Who do you see?

This title and first line are from a popular DC go-go song. But it's also part of my most recent self-care activities. I've been stepping back from everything that has been causing me strain. Relationships, activities, groups of people, and even foods. (that's the one that's made me sad... judge yourself!)

I have been taking subtle and not-so-subtle steps back from things over the past few weeks. I realized part of feeling disconnected from some things was my brain telling me to actually disconnect from them. I found that I had been putting way too much energy into things that turned out to be counterproductive. I am no stranger to hard work, but when it's draining you and not doing you much good it's gotta go. I participate in things because they uplift my mind, body, spirit or soul. In essence, they make me feel good. No one wants to continue to do something that makes them feel bad. No one wants to put effort into something that leaves them questioning why they even tried. No one wants to continue to shine a turd, put lipstick on a pig or some other cliche that basically means you're wasting your time.

My time is far too precious to waste it doing things that have yielded less and less over time or other things that have yet to make any progress at all. This is especially true when your time and attention would be much more successful elsewhere.

Taking a step back is not the same as quitting, but sometimes you have to give things a rest. Some things you put down to pick up at a later date. Some things you truly do leave on the shelf. Some things you step back from in hopes that someone else steps forward. Some things you shift lower on the priority list so that the little bit of joy left in them is not forever lost.

Take a look at your life. From what do you need to take a step back? What things are you putting more effort into than others? How is that working for you? Where can you make a shift in priorities? Why have you not yet done so? Who do you see?

from: https://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/stop-take-a-step-back-look-what-s-really-important-focus-on-that/

Keep Going! You're Doing Great!

I feel better. I saw my therapist, I talked to my people, I got my fresh air, I prayed to my God, I did my work... for me!

I kept going. I slowed down. But I kept going. I sought help. But I kept going. I set my intention. And I kept going.

I had to take time to check in with myself and be honest about what I needed. I needed to let something go, y'all! I was dragging it around in my heart and my body was telling me to release it. I was so afraid of how it would feel to let it go, but I realized holding on to it was not doing me any good.

I had to remind myself: You've survived everything thus far. Heartbreak, heartache, failure, faltering, surgery, death, grad school, crappy bosses, infidelity, insecurity, rumors and rejection. And look at you! Still glowing up & showing up! But in order to get to the other side of it, I had to go through it. It was hard, it hurt, I cried, I stalled, I scraped by but I  kept going!

We can't always let other people tell us what we need to do for ourselves. People who had no idea what I do regularly or what I was doing currently were telling me what I needed to do. That's not how SELF-care works. SELF-care is about you being aware and honest with yourself. Do you need to take a nap? Do you need to tell someone no? Do you need to unload some things? Do you need to pick some other things up? Sometimes you need to make a list and check it THREE times.

I made my mental list and at the top of it was see your therapist. After that, it all fell into place. That session had me in tears and disbelief, but it was what I needed.

Keep Going! You're doing great!
But also, get you a therapist!

Disconnected

There is so much going on internally and externally and so much I want to do. I've disconnected. It's not like a robot unplugged from its power source. I am more like a computer disconnected from the network. I do everything I am supposed to do and I do it well!! But, lately I haven't fully BEEN there. My mama called me today and asked if I was ok. And I said yeah. But I'm not.

I don't know how to explain it though. I have reached out to a handful of people. But, had I not... I am wondering who other than my mom even sensed there was anything going on with me. I hadn't put a name to this feeling until this morning. And now that I have... ain't nothing changed. I still feel like I need a break from you & you & you & you & me. 

How do you unplug from the network and still move forward, you ask? Much like Sway,

I ain't got the answers. This isn't depression. This isn't anxiety. Those 2 things require connection to something. I am plugged in & powered on but personally I'm just here. It's like Comcast internet during a bad storm. There are moments of connection, but they are spotty. Now I have to call customer service to find out if they can reboot my modem or if I have to wait until they restore service in a few days.

OH WAIT! As I was typing this I was looking for answers & I think I found it...

Mercury has been in retrograde for 3 weeks.... ugh! We'll revisit this next week, I guess.