When Somebody Loves You Back

I'm finna be transparent as a MUGG!

I want love like an old school love song! Not just any love song, but  THIS LOVE SONG RIGHT HERE:


I have heard over and over again to find someone that loves you more. That thing is a recipe for failure. I have been the overlover and the overloved and it was never a good time! What must it be like "to be loved and be loved in return"? Equally-yoked? I have never experienced a 50-50 love. Does that even exist?

This world will make you feel like it doesn't! Little to no reciprocity seems to be the order of the day. Now, don't get me wrong, I love because I want to. I love because it's what I do! But overloving is bad for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Why am I working so hard for you and you are so indifferent? I'm old and I'm TIRED! Being overloved ended up making me feel guilty. Why wasn't I feeling this the way he was? I'm old and I'm TIRED! 40 may be the new 20, but I have had 20 extra years of being loved wrong (or at least in ways that did not satisfy me).

I have had great relationships and I have met amazing men, not one of them feels like the one that got away. Though there are several of them that would very likely say that they regret letting me go, if they were honest with themselves. But they aren't because many of them had issues with truly being honest with themselves.

I want someone to love me the way my friends love me and the way I love my friends. Flaws and all, no matter what, we not going anywhere! I have had conversations with my friends that would surely have broken up lesser friendships! But the way we love each other and trust one another and know that when we speak to one another it is out of love, we are able to accept what is being said to us and grow from it.

I want a love like that! This world has made people so fickle and inconsistent. It's made people unstable and apathetic. It's made people so disposable to one another. No one wants to give their all anymore because nobody wants their feelings hurt, or their business to end up as a FB post. No one wants to love anymore because nobody wants their heart toyed with, or to be subtweeted (subliminal tweets/posts that they know are directed to them) in the middle of the night. No one wants to be honest anymore because nobody wants to look like a sucker, or end up the subject of a viral screenshot.

I am honest, I am real, I am a giver, I am a sharer. I have walls up cuz I'm no dummy, but I am not afraid of love! BRING! IT! ON!