Apologizin' is Hard to Do

The great Peter Cetera and David Foster penned a song for the band Chicago called "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" in which he expresses regret and promises to love, but admits it was hard for him to say those words. He even says that he really wants to say "I'm sorry". But he doesn't ever truly apologize.

When you say, "I'm sorry" to my friend's mom, she says, "Don't be sorry, be better." It may seem cold, but it's important to understand that an apology should ALWAYS come with a change in behavior. Otherwise, you're just sorry- in a pitiful state. An apology is an expression of regret.

Choose your words carefully. Saying "I apologize if"... is dismissive and shows you have little to no concern for the person's feelings. Saying "I apologize that"... demonstrates that you are aware that your actions had a negative impact on the person. Anita models a pretty good apology in her song "I Apologize". She says she is wrong, admits to being unkind and promises to do better in the future.

It is never easy to admit your wrongdoing. But it is freeing. It frees up your spirit and allows you to let go of the guilt you feel. That guilt that has you still torturing  the person you harmed by pretending nothing ever happened or that you were not to blame.

I have talked about apologies on an occasion or two because I want to believe that people will eventually understand that that hostility you feel toward certain people dissipates once you specifically acknowledge your wrongdoing and do what is necessary to make the necessary changes in you so that it does not happen again. Allowing your guilt to fester and turn into resentment for the person you harmed is not a healthy coping mechanism. DO THE WORK!

Image from: http://archive.lyza.com/2008/11/10/letterpress-i-apologize-cards/index.html