Discernment, Intuition, Self-Sabotage & GI Joe

I have always felt that I have both the gift of discernment and can be quite intuitive as it relates to other people. I was always able to tell my friends upon meeting a new person: "I don't like them, not sure why." And later it would come out that the person was actually a pile of garbage wearing nice clothes. But for the life of me, I could not figure out why I couldn't use it on myself. As it turns out, I can! Yaaaaay! But they only alert me to negative situations. Boooo! - Another fine "Yay! Boo! Moment brought to you by My Life

For instance, the day I told my friend about this guy that was pursuing me, Jazmine Sullivan's Let It Burn was playing and I picked up on it at the chorus. (Call me crazy but I think I found the love of my life). Fast Forward a few months later, he and I are riding in awkward silence and the song comes on again in his car. I'd been feeling like it was the beginning of the end but I had been praying for clarity. So when it came on I'm thinking why THIS song at THIS moment? Knowing what I know now, I realize it was a bookend.

Then there was the guy that every time I would see him, I'd have butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was excitement! Turns out the butterflies were telling me: Molly, you in danger, girl!

I used to be the Queen of cut and run. Not ghosting. But any sign of uncertainty from someone's son and I was like: I'm good, luv. Enjoy! I am sure somewhere among my various blogs here and on Myspace I talk about being a self-saboteur. I was so terrified of looking dumb or getting played in my mid-20s that I was playing defense so hard to the point I was playing offense as well. I made a conscious effort to be more patient, understanding and open.... Y'all can read back through these blogs and see how that turned out.

So, while I'm no longer planning to actively sabotage. I am definitely going to trust my gut more often. While it sucks to think that my gifts are currently only honed to sniff out trouble, at least now I know....