Thursday, September 9

Guess Who Loves You More?

I'm not going full mush on y'all, don't worry.

But back in undergrad I had a boyfriend tell me his mother told him to find a woman that loves him more than he loves her.

For a while, I wasn't sure how that was possible. How do you know? Why would you want that?

But, its all a matter of perception, really. It is all about a feeling. When you feel the love without having to search for it or decipher it. But it gets a little deeper, sometimes its not about your love for them, but your love for self. sometimes we think we know what kind of relationship we want and deserve, but when we receive it, we second-guess it. Wondering if this person can possibly love us so much. When in reality, they can and do and we need to get on THEIR level and see what they see in ourselves.

or maybe that's just ME. lol


Anon said...

What a though provoking post.

How do you know when someone loves you THAT much? Hmmm...when they work with you as a team instead of against you just to get their way. They grow to improve and listen to constructive feedback instead of being stuck in their ways which as you said, does not equal maturity. When they want your needs met too instead of satisfying themself and winning always being more important. When even if you did have a weak moment and second-guess their love they support you and help strengthen you instead of condemning you for your weakness and blaming you. They treat you like you're they're best friend and if they slip up they own up to their mistake and humble themself and make it up to you by words and/or actions without having to ask.

And yes it's about love of self because when you love yourself you won't accept less than this kind of love.

{Ms. P} said...

Whatever happened to 50/50?

Anon said...

It should be 100/100

CB said...

I've heard mothers say the same thing to daughters, get with a man that loves you more than you love him and he'll never leave. Uh, rather scary thought in my opinion!

Loving someone more than you love yourslf is dangerous, especially if you don't know who you are. But if you have 'love of self' down cold then you will know when someone loves you like you deserve to be loved because of they way they make you feel (like you can do anything with their support, that you can rely on their encouragement and they will be your biggest cheerleader, even when you aren't at your best). So I guess it's not about loving someone more than they love you but rather, reciprocating what you receive and being happy with the way they make you feel - about yourself and about being with that person.

{Ms. P} said...

@Anon: (Agreed.) I've ALWAYS gotten strange looks when I say that. I was told "It'll never be fair", which I think is complete and utter BS.

Why bother being in a relationship -- of ANY kind -- if you can't give it your 'all'?