Friday, September 16

LATE Breaking News: Eddie Hosting the Oscars

Look man, I know I'm late on this & ain't been NOWHERE to be found for a while. Call it my summer break. Then, this week, I officially became Auntie TwoTimes. Sprinkle in my health issue that has had me feeling less than motivated to do ANYTHING, an anniversary & a girls' trip to NYC and you pretty much have my absence in a nutshell.

So with that said...

Eddie is hosting the Oscars. Eddie "I'm Not that Baby's Pappy" Murphy is hosting the Oscars. Now back in the day, Eddie was IT! He had classics like Beverly Hills Cop, Harlem Nights & Coming to America. After that his career was sprinkled with kinda funny movies, sorta family movies, and downright funky movies. He morphed into a "cleaned up" version of himself including cutting off his mustache OFTEN. In case you don't know... The only black man I trust without a mustache is Denzel Washington. Barack Obama  USED to be one, but he's in the questionable category now. I feel like black men cut off their 'staches for one of two reasons: 1. they messed up while shaving (either sneezed or forgot the guard on the clippers) or 2. they are hiding something. How can you hide something with a bald face, you wonder? You can't! It's OBVIOUS that something is amiss & men that DO shave their facial hair off completely do it when they "need a change". *suspicious itty bitty eye slit side eye* "I just wanted to do something different." This usually happens around the same time that they either divorce their wives, buy a sports car, change careers, or start wearing tight, sheer shirts or in SOME cases all of the above. But, I digress... as always... You love it!

The Oscars have been a notorious disaster in the hosting department lately. Anne Hathaway & James Franco almost ruined their careers with that debacle last year, po thangs. It seems comedians fair far better than actors except  when you combine actors AND comedians (Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin). Jon Stewart was good & Whoopi was good, but Eddie? Jon Stewart seems to think he is going to "kill it". Iowno about all that! Does anyone know if Eddie Murphy is still funny? I don't think the Oscars will be a great way to gauge.
You have top-rate comedians reading lines written by a mishmash of comedy greats and has-beens & professional talk & variety show writers. They are reading to an audience full of people who either are sitting with their butts CLENCHED in anticipation of winning (or losing), take themselves WAY too seriously, or just don't speak English. It's tough to make the people that only watch documentaries & foreign films that end with a crying clown popping a balloon laugh at the same things as people who list Talladega Nights in their top 10 greatest movies of all time.

It's a GREAT gig, very prestigious, but it's also a TOUGH one. I just hope he doesn't make a fool of himself or *whispering* US. Because you know ONE misstep & everyone goes in the discard pile!

So Eddie, make sure that 'stache is nice & THICK, keep it on the up & up and do NOT make any references to sexual orientation!
What's it gonna be? Dessert or disaster?

No comments: