Thursday, December 10

The Year in Review (sorta)

So this is not something I planned or thought over before writing. It came to my head & now I am following my heart. I am going to try to get through this without getting weepy, mushy, sappy, etc. So here goes nothing...

I turned the big 3-0 this year and to be honest with you, I stopped "making plans" after college. I followed my heart & God's hand & let things be. Would I like to have been married by now? Sure. Would I have wanted to be elsewhere in my career? Of course. But this year I have learned to trust in the Lord with all mine heart. So I take solace in knowing that as long as I am making an effort, I am where I am supposed to be.

This year I have loved-n-lost and liked-n-left. I am usually pretty good at cutting ties. But there has been a line of communication or 2 that remains open for a good reason or another.  I have learned plenty and I have taught a lesson or two. Overall, I had a growing experience in the "romantical" relationship arena. I am thankful that my experiences have left me better, not bitter.

As far as friendships, I have an amazing and diverse group of friends that have helped me become a better friend to them through frankness and honesty and for that I am thankful. However, I have also been taught how NOT to be a friend. I have been lied to, lied on and talked about. And amazingly, I just laughed about it. I am still laughing about it because, I have found a peace that they don't have. I have tried to share it with them, but they either weren't accepting of it or they thought they had it all figured out. It is their soul, they can do with it as they see fit. *shrug* But I am thankful for clarity.

Then there was my family. My mother had an in-home accident that ended up changing everyone's life. While she is better, now... I spent the bulk of my summer balancing work, school, an internship and visits to the hospital. It was trying and tiring but with the help from my family, we all got through it. It made us all the more appreciative of each other. I am thankful to have had the support I needed and the support my mom needed.

I have had so many GREAT & awesome times from my birthday to R & B's Tour of DC. Finally my grandmother & mother's prayers have been answered and I found a church home. I am still just as vibrant and fun-loving as ever. But, I am also more focused, determined, confident and satisfied with my life. I don't party party party like I used to, but I still step out and have a ball. I don't drink drink drink like I used to, but I have been known to sip a glass of wine & get all warm & fuzzy. I don't date date date like I used to... hey who am I kidding I haven't had multiple dates in a matter of days in years! That got old QUICK, but even the chase, pursuit, catch and release has lost its luster for me. I am less apt to give out my number, or share more than a passing "hello" these days. I am happy with it just being me and patient, observant and in-tune enough to know when to give the green light. I have learned not to second guess my first instinct. Overall, this year, more than any year before, I can see growth in every area of my life.  For that I am TRULY thankful!

So, enough with the sippy sappy... I just had to get that out. Back to your regularly scheduled shenanigans!


lani3000 said...

Amen. Focus on being "all that". Everything else will fall into place. Hell I became single TODAY. Jus gots to roll with it?

A.Smith said...

Being able to think back on your year and see all that is a blessing.

Thank you for sharing.

Tammy said...

Isn't it great to look back and see that in the grand scheme of things, you've made progress? Good stuff Bri.

{Ms. P} said...