Say WHAT!?!?!?

This blog is a BIT all over the place... but just rock with me, I promise it'll be worth it!

There are times in the process of getting to know someone where communication breaks down. Sometimes it's forgivable, overlookable. But sometimes it's a testament to how the person listens, processes and acts upon what you tell them. I have known many a man who will ask you one thing, receive the answer and then develop something in their heads that when it does not come out how they planned get upset with you. Here's my issue with that. Time and again when they asked me a question I answer THAT question without assumptions or anticipations. So when THAT question is more open-ended than it should be, please don't get upset with ME! Prime example:

Them: What are you doing later? 

Me: Nothing.

Them HOURS later: So where do you want to go for dinner?

Me: I made plans already.

When you make your intentions clear from the beginning, there is no room for misunderstanding. Even in cases where someone wanted to surprise me, there are ways to make sure I'm where you want/need me to be at the right time without saying "I have a surprise for you". It's all about how and what you communicate.

I am a woman who says what I mean and mean what I say. If you interpret it any differently than how I said it, that's totally on you. I choose my words carefully for this very reason. I was a Communications major, I have a way with words, I KNOW what I said. In order to deal with me one must understand this.

I'm not perfect, by any means. There is a song performed by Nina Simone that says:

Oh baby, I'm just human

Don't you know I have faults like anyone?

Sometimes I find myself alone regretting

Some little foolish thing, some simple thing that I've done

'Cause I'm just a soul whose intentions are good

Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

I SOMETIMES make mistakes in my communication due to emotion, or sleepiness..... But, for the most part I mean every word I say and I expect you to understand that. I don't set out to make things difficult for anyone, contrary to popular belief. But I do expect someone to be able to process what I say the way I say it without inferences and interpretations. If you ask me what I like and I tell you, then you immediately decide to do the opposite, I'm not going to go along just to get along. I said what I said for a reason. I say it all the time, "I'm always right and I'm almost never wrong" so disputing me is futile. Whether that is a good stance to take or not, it simply means I stand by my words. I can give you flowery prose, or I can be so concise and blunt that you may get your feelings hurt; either way I pride myself on my ability to communicate well. If you don't respect and understand that, you don't respect or understand me.

I urge you all to take heed to this. As an adult, you know what you like, love, or are indifferent about. You know what is important to you, what you are proud of, what means the most. If someone does not appreciate it or at least respect those things, they just aren't for you. Don't be afraid to say what you mean. Too often we mince words to keep someone around, failing to realize that we are suppressing a part of ourselves to appease someone else. Many of us have done it for far too long and still come up empty. So why not speak your peace (yes PEACE, think about it!) and let things come together or fall apart based upon  your truths. You'll be happier in the end, I PROMISE!

Mid-FEBRUARY Already! I MUST be Dreaming!

The months have been FLYING by for me. I have performed in a step show, survived an anxiety-filled Christmas, had a birthday, and celebrated my beau's birthday all while singing in the choir, participating in an ACTIVE youth ministry & being a full-time grad student. Life has been going on & on & on & on...

This can be a good thing. But it becomes a bad thing when the highs seem stratospherically high & the lows are subterraneanly low! Self-care is imperative! I realize this & sometimes have no time for it at the length it "need be"...

I am in school to become  a licensed professional counselor. "What do that mean, Bri?" It means I need a good therapist! Behind every good therapist, is a good therapist! My life is changing and I really don't understand it all. What I DO understand is I need a better understanding of myself, my motives, my situations, my emotions, my wants & NEEDS. I think I know at least 1 thing I need: A BREAK!

But from what? friends? family? work? school? the ministry? my surroundings? my own thoughts? my reality?

I have an imagination that rivals some of the greatest in the entertainment industry, I promise. So, in my head, I have seen and done a lot of people, places, and things... Wait I didn't mean it like that, or did I? Just kidding... not really.

I have seen my future in a million ways and each way has been more awesome than the one before it. But imagination can be misleading because there are a lot of things that have to go on in the present to enable those dreams to come true in the future. Many times, we are not in control of these things and THIS makes me nervous. This nervousness turns to anxiety & if I am not careful, that anxiety may turn into PANIC! Then, the men in the white jackets need to be called... if I don't take that little white pill. I'm not rambling here. There really is a little white pill that you can take when you are anxious that turns your anxiety down SO LOW, you run out of G.A.S. (give a sh*t- pardon my francais!).

So back to the control issue... I cannot control other people. I may be able to persuade them, but I cannot control them. (And I hate manipulators so that is out of the question.) So I have to trust that those people will do right by me. But what is right? Especially since so much of my future is swirling around getting mixed and mashed up in my head. Even my dreams at night seem real, no matter how strange, I still wake up thinking they are plausible. I mean who wouldn't be ok with having a robot version of themselves filling in for them at work while you take a trip to the moon on a Virgin Galactic rocket with your sisterwives & brotherhusbands?? I mean REALLY! TO THE MOOOON, BABY!

picture from http://www.virgingalactic.com/assets/img/overview/spaceships/banner.jpg



So what am I talking about here? A clear head, a sober mind, a focused vision and a word from the Lord. Oh yeah and a VACATION... not to the MOON... but maybe to the Bahamas... or SOMETHING! and DEFINITELY not on a cruise, cuz apparently those don't end well these days! EEK!

Y'all enjoy what is left of your February and try to stay out of "TROUBLE" tomorrow... ifyaknowatImean!