Thursday, October 25

Ciroc, I bid you ADIEU!


It is with a melancholy disposition and a heavy heart that I end my 4+ year with that sexy bottle of grapety goodness! Ciroc has been there through the good times and the bad! It has mingled with Ting on the sunny shores of Runaway Bay. It has fueled some of the best "family" dinner conversations (Shout out to the dysfunctional family dinner crew: Twanks, Faye, Tam, Scotty, Ra, Sam & Crown!). It has made my birthday both memorable & unmemorable as it erased my memory the next day. It has been the source of much controversy as empty-handed hoes would approach me & my infamous picnic purse looking for a taste of the smooooooooothness. It has clinked around in the purses of the girls on outlet shopping missions in outer reaches of Maryland & VA. It has counseled and consoled lovesick hearts. It has even taken part in the Twanks & Bri Virtual Slumber Party of '07.

As I think back to the bottle that we crushed in a matter of 30 minutes at Penang for Crown's birthday... just me, Twanks, RE, Ra & Crown, I smile & laugh at how that whole day went down in history: 3 parties, in 3 different parts of the metro (and not so metro) area. I think back to the pic of Ra flexing among a MYRIAD of emptied Ciroc bottles at Ra & Shawn's Bat Cave. And that crazy night @ Pearl where Scotty took a break from the mic to take a shot directly from the T's bottle.

I know you are wondering WHY was this drink so important. It was important because those you see named above are like a dysfunctional family & Ciroc has brought us together for some good good times.

Now I am sure you are wondering WHY I am bidding it a fond farewell. BECAUSE SEAN COMBS HAS DECIDED TO HELP MARKET THE BRAND! With a 50/50 share in the profits over several years, I'm not making that fool any richer with MY hard earned dollars. He is shady, shiesty & already way too rich to now want or need to get on the Ciroc bandwagon with the likes of MY broke (in comparison to him) ass. Just yesterday the girls were discussing how repulsed they are by his gallavanting about town schmoozing & boozing and showing off all the while leaving poor talented artists virtually penniless in his wake. And I open my beloved Express this morning & see his bucked grin holding MY BRAND. IS NOTHING SACRED? © T

I won't be one of those celebrity hangers-on that gleams proudly as some rapper talks about "When the Ciroc is in ya system..." Instead, I will stare blankly at the johnny-come-latelies cheering & holding up their glasses, proud to drink what Puffy drinks because Puffy drinks it & I will say "SHAME ON YOU"! Followers, sheep, WHORES! Willing to do whatever it takes to get close to a celeb.

Meanwhile, the family is on a mission to find a newer, better, smoother, growner & sexier vodka to take its place. To my homeboy Jimmy in NC, I apologize for exposing you to the beauty of a Ciroc buzz only to abandon it a month later. But know that this is all Puffy's fault. I promise you, when our search ends & we have officially found our new-new... I will not only call & let you know, I will personally drive a bottle down there to you if you can't find it at the ABC Store.

*sigh* Ciroc has fallen victim to hip-hop "culture" and will now be on the tables of perpetrating "ballers" fresh out of jail or off the corner. DAMN YOU, CIROC for selling out.

BTW, does anyone even DRINK Courvosier anymore??? UGH!

Thanks for the memories...

1 comment:

PuertoCrucianCutie said...

THIS IS ABSURD!!!!! How I will miss you Ciroc :( **running way sobbing**