Some People Play Too Much (c)

here is a quick 5

5. Eric from Big Brother 8- if it weren't for the rumors of his big she-banga-bang, he would NOT be able to pull a girl like Jess. Who he think he foolin?

4. People with raggedy mouths & money in the bank- There is no reason for you to be claiming or ELUDING to making that loooong money & your teeth are still looking like the first day of sixth grade! Get that shyt fixed & stop playin!

3. El Debarge- the Prince of 80s Pretty boy got aDAMNrrested on FELONY charges. he is 5 foot 9 130 pounds and he got aDAMNrrested he's not gonna be ANY GOOD in the PEN, son! I hope Big Black Bubba doesn't play too too much!

2. Senator Larry Craig- "I am not gay!" How many times have I heard THIS in my lifetime? I'll tell you THIS... less times than I heard that mess TODAY!

Dear Senator Craig,Not only are you gay, but you are a gay ass lie.
You can't accidentally give ALLLLLLL the signs for gay sex in a public restroom
& then just decide to plead guilty to a lesser charge to make it "go
away". Please come out of the closet, step down from your job & stop
playin with your wife & your life!

1. Travis Henry - If you don't know who this fool ass bama is he is not only a running back for the Broncos, he is also a father of NINE and husband of NONE! And if you have SEEN this fool, then you too were wondering how there could have been NINE chicks that let that near them AT ALL let alone without a condom! Any way this fool had to BORROW money to pay child support but has HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars in cars & jewelry. Thanks SO MUCH, Travis Henry, for being not only an embarassment to the race but also yet another coon with a contract! Please INVEST in condoms & stop playin SO DAMN MUCH!

*dropping the mic & walking away*

Make Me a Believer

Superman can fly high way up in the sky
'Cause we believe he can
So what we choose to believe can always work out fine
It's all in the mind

Luther was on to something there. Something that has stuck with me in all of my interactions with the opposite sex. If we both don't believe, then we are both wasting each others time. It has been years since I have been in a real TITLED relationship. And even then, he made ME a believer. He put in the work, he expressed his feelings, he was upfront, initially anyway. And with both of us believing that Superman could fly... he DID!

Until my suspension of disbelief came into play & slowly Superman lost his powers & then on that fateful January night, Superman came crashing down to earth & became just another man on the street.

Luther later says: I wanna love, wanna have, wanna hold you girl
So make me a believer

You have to WANT to be loved, had & held... both people, on both sides, both with intensity. There is a passion and a desire present to want to love & give love. But people are so afraid and so selfish and unwilling to work to make the other person a believer especially when they are only part-time believers themselves.

Luther also states:

Forget all about whatever we fear
And let's just be lovers
Loving and loving, oh love is the way
To make me stay...

Fear & belief cannot exist in the same plane, ain't that right, Luther? So you're telling me that true love, without fear is the way? Hmmm, I am thinking he may be on to something, really. He wouldn't just MAKE UP such a thing right?

With so much distrust, deception, dogging-out involved in forming a "relationship" in today's world, we have forgotten about what it really takes. Making the OTHER person BELIEVE. Men & women both should step it up & love with wreckless abandon... don't be scared! Y'all some punks... HA!

And I know things don't always end well, but you need to know the difference between being made a believer & being CONVINCED. Stop BELIEVING things that are clearly meant to convince you. Be smart about your love & know that when it's right... it'll be evident. You should be on the same wavelength, the same plane, the same page. Otherwise, you are wasting time when you could & probably should be a believer in, for & with someone else. You can't be afraid to let things go & flow as they will. As Uto-Boho as this sounds, I BELIEVE in love & its power to make magic HAPPEN!

Today's Sermon has been taken from the Book of Luther, chapter 1983. In closing I leave you with this:

Yeah, I know the way to persuade me over to your side
And I am sure you can
So if you get me to believe
It all will work out fine

I'm a believer... are you?

DC Slob Fair 2007

So DC's Mayor decided to hold a Job fair for the un- & underemployed of the city. With the go-ahead to hire certain positions on the spot, it seemed like a place for me to visit on my lunch hour, just to see...

But what I SAW was heartbreaking & disappointing. There were people who clearly KNEW how to present themselves, and people who were TRYING hard to present themselves; but for whatever reason their clothes were ill-fitting- but they tried. Then there was the overwhelming number of people who didn't know how to nor did they care how they presented themselves.

I saw 2 young gay men in sweaters & buttondowns with jeans on that I saw in the THISIT section @ Macy's (for those in the cheap seats that is the Juniors section). And they were flailing all over the place complaining about how crowded it was at some clothing stores booth. "AAAAARGH!" the teeny gay yelled out in frustration. "I'm just tryna get to the TABLLLLLLE!" As his taller friend in hazel contacts fanned himself & looked on.

There was the man in shorts, a tee-shirt & STOCKING cap- not to be confused with a skully- that was standing extremely close to the lady from some local bank. "I need a job. I need someone to hire me!" HE was sincere in his plea, however, he failed to relaize the REAL reason he wasn't being taken seriously. THE STOCKING CAP! Which looked like it had recently been on some old lady's actual foot... it was navy blue.

As I travelled through the maze of actual professionals overpowered by the less-than-professionals, I could have sworn I heard a young fella say to his counterpart: "How many numbers you get?" SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
Are these shiftless negroes really taking time out of their schedules to come down to the job fair to PREY upon innocent job seeking women? SURELY NOT!

I was wrong.

As I have finally gotten fed up with the foolishness, I ACCIDENTALLY make eye contact with some young negro. He asks if I found what I was looking for. I notice he is wearing a t-shirt & jeans, so I mumble, "Yeah." Convo over, yes? NO!

This young negro grabs my arm & asks me again, "You find what you was lookin for, sweethart?" YER KIDDING ME, right? Did this fool put his HANDS on me? Yes, yes he did. I SNATCH away and say, "YES!" and walk off in a huff.

THE AUDACITY! I could have been a potential employer and you are putting your hands on me? At a job fair? Why? I was astounded and overall disappointed by the foolishness I was exposed to & I pray that Fenty & his team can whip this city into shape. Because he has some real FOOLS living here!

FYI: the jobs they were hiring for on the spot involved a CDL or "environmental engineering." Ain't THAT some shyt!

Set me free, why don't ya!

It's always so funny to me how someone comes back from nowhere & decide they want back in on your life. But not really because they want you, but because someone they know seems to show interest. There have been some occurrences in the past few weeks that have been blatantly NON-coincidental. Funny how every goodbye ain't gone because I let this guy go late last year. His bitch-like tendencies didn't start resurfacing until he spotted me laughing it up with one of his boys.
The girls & I were at the club laughing it up with him for a good chunk of the night & as I was leaving Old News whispers: "You should call me sometime." My lovely response: "For what?"

This was after the drunk dialing incident, but still... GEEZ.

He can't let me go, though. I don't understand why. Today, he tried to make me feel like I was crazy. Telling me it wasn't his fault I didn't want to hang out with him anymore. My lovely response: "Yes it is, congratulations!" He played dumb as if we had not sat in my car that fateful night & hashed all of this out. He had decided that I wanted more than he did & I had changed. But EVERYTHING in our friendship was an option that I gave him full decision-making privileges over. He CHOSE to spend nights with me. He CHOSE to meet my family. He CHOSE to cut the fool out of the blue due to his previous choices. I let him, as a man, take charge & where did it get him? In my IM, a year later pretending not to know that I was JUST talking to his mans & them.

LISTEN, dude, we weren't together, you were never my man; I therefore can do as I please. Stop trying to keep tabs on me & mysteriously showing up after I talk to your friend. We are just friends & even if we were more, this is an issue you need to take up with HIM not ME!

You had your cake; you chose to toss it aside. So don't try to go back looking for it where you left it; it's GONE!

Set me free, why don't ya? Get out my life, why don't ya? Cuz you don't even LIKE me, you just keep me hanging on!

Helping Myself to Loneliness

The following is a rant brought on by recent events & conversations. It may seem a little disconnected, but it was written in semi-stream of consciousness...

It is hard to really and truly understand how I feel. Loneliness is the worst feeling I have ever felt because even when you are not alone, it does not go away. I have run into a bad string of fools here lately. And through it all, I have just felt lonely.

I am a helper... I like to help my family, my friends & apparently men. My friends tell me I am too nice to people that don't deserve it. They say the people I deal with aren't on my level. But the people I deal with don't talk to me as crazy as a man of my intelligence level would. I don't like to have to PROVE how smart I am constantly. I enjoy a good debate, but I shouldn't have to constantly be talked to like a stoopid girl. I hate that! And, for the most part the lesser-thans don't talk to me like that so I guess they are a little easier to deal with.

One of my friends said I NEED to change my social scene. But I don't see it that way because when I LIKE my social scene & when I go out, I don't go with the purpose or even desire of meeting anyone new. I go out with the purpose of having a good time with the people I already know. A complete change of scenery would only make me feel more lonely because I'd be the new girl in high school, it would be MUCH harder to make new friends. I have branched out & done things on my own that none of my friends would do with me. And I have been very, very successful at my newest venture, so much so that I am thinking of doing much more of it, but that will have to wait.

I am slowly coming to grips with not having anyone to depend on but myself. Despite me being there for certain people, including my family. To me, this is what hurts the absolute most. That people who you have gone above & beyond for don't have the common courtesy to call if they aren't coming, to come when they call, or to make time in their "busy" schedule to share with you something you deem important. The sad truth is, this isn't going to stop me from helping others and sharing things with them.

Don't it ALWAYS Seem to Go...

that you don't know what you've got til it's GONE!??!

My girl Twanks calls me *Gone* because it seems whenever I put a guy on notice that I am not feelin their particular brand of bullshyt, they don't correct the situation, and I roll out... they seem to want to return.

Sometimes they even send their friends in to do reconnaissance. What kind of mess is that. How does that conversation go?

OldNews: Yeah man, she's not feeling me anymore & I haven't talked to her in months maybe you should pretend to be cool with her & see what's going on with her now.

Friend: Yeah man & then I will get her back for trying to stick with you when you were trying to get yourself together & giving up when you decided that you were going to treat her like shyt.

I mean how does that sound... I deleted this fool from my life & had little to NO contact with him until he got in his feelings when he realized he was no longer the main event: "Oh you can't call me? Oh I'm not on ya friends list? Oh you chillin with my boys?" Basically, clearly & pretty much! We had no ties, right? You didn't want a relationship, right? You wanted to do you, right? So why months later is this a big surprise?

Oh yeah cuz I drunk dialed u. My bad... but the fact that once we got home I passed out & asked, nay TOLD you not to touch me should have been yer hint. Things hadn't really changed, I just made a bad choice. Clearly the fact that I hadn't called you since wasn't clue enough. SO here I will say it once and for all... turn me loose and PLEASE stop ruining my life!

Back yet again from the abyss

I am here again from the abysmal depths of MySpace to try this PUBLIC bloggery yet again.

I want to announce that I have been to the lowest of lows and returned with a tear-stained face, a full heart & a jaded outlook on men. My male friends are to thank... shouts out to WF, Inc. for showing me how it is possible to be a charming & amazing boyfriend, father, husband, friend & a selfish whoremonger simultaneously & sometimes in the same breath. I love you all because without you, I would probably still be home crying my eyes out over some male-type who never had my interests at heart in the first place.

I will be posting at least once a week... I PROMISE!