This dude is either sub or SUPER human & lately he has been showing us ALL!
Since his escapades of hookers & blow have come to light (hookers & blow sounds SO 1975) AND his show has been cancelled he has been everywhere, talking to whoever has a microphone & saying any & everything... Here's just a sample (in no particular order):
- I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.
- It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard.
- I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself.
- Touch my children and I will eat your hands off your arms.
If you can bring me a souvenir from that moment when your father locked you in the closet, then bring it to me.
- This is me not on drugs bro.
- The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger and Richards look like droopy-eyed armless children.
- I don't sleep. I wait. (he's been on the Chuck Norris site!)
- We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?
- Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. (I'm sorry, WHAT?)
- Imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists.
- My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math. (*counts on fingers* ummm ok, yeah so...)
- Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it that way.
- The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning.
- You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it. Unplug this bastard.'
- I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a seven-year-old.
- I'm just going to sail across the winds of the universe with my goddesses.
- I'm going to hang out with these two smoooooking hotties and fly privately around the world.
- It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.
- Why give an interview when you can leave a warning?
These are my fave 20... But really in ANY conversation, there are very FEW questions you could pose where ANY of these would be appropriate answers. Can you imagine sitting there with a straight face while THESE things came out of his mouth. Couch jumping ain't got NOTHING on THIS guy!
Let's pray that Charlie Sheen returns to his planet safely. *side eye*
"D**N, homie, in high school you was the man, homie...
WTF happened to you!?!?"