A Man that's LISTENING! (from verysmartbrothas.com)

I didn't write this... a friend of mine shared it with me thanks tothe wonderment of Google Reader! The site is called Very Smart Brothas and I'm JUST now getting into it... *hands in my late pass* But Icandiggit!

This was called Defining the "Diva Dude".... *NOTE: The language herein is harsher than that which I now use in my blog.... but the message is not affected by that!* I'm going to highlight (by embolding lol) the stuff that speaks to what I have been speaking to & comment in black. WISHMELUCK:

***this was originally posted two years ago, but a conversation with facebook fame lydia cotton yesterday convinced me to revise and enhance***


an epidemic unique to the black community, the “diva dude” describes the mindset created in certain faulty brothas, developed after reading and hearing about the “good black male shortage” supposedly sweeping through the country at a pandemic rate. (Now see, I thought it was JUST ME, but clearly someone besides my girls & me have observed this)



it’s a condition, an aura which basically lets every eligible woman within a 25 mile radius know “look, i’ve read the same articles that you have, and since i’m such an “endangered species“, i pretty much have carte blanche to do whatever the hell I want with you. kiss the ring, desperate b*tch”. (This guy has been eavesdropping on my convos with the girls! lol)



they’re walking among us, twirling blue and white sticks and passive-aggressively suggesting dutch first dates as we speak, and it’s one of vsb’s crime-fighting duties to locate and brand them before they continue to poison the already murky dating pool.



here are a few characteristics and behaviors synonymous of the diva dude. If any man possesses seven or more of these traits, he qualifies. (*Grabbing a piece of paper and writing some names at the top*)



think of this as a dating DSM-IV. (LOVE THE PSYCH REFERENCE! Are there types at the end? Diva Dude- Disorganized Type)

***before I continue, i want to make it very clear that being a young, successful, black male definitely doesn’t automatically make you a DD. DD’s are bred in insecurity…grown-*ss babies who need female attention to validate their existence. basically, these are the type of cats who would all of a sudden start using initials for their first names when becoming successful, thinking that “t. jonathan butler” on a business card might procure more panties than regular ole “tyrone j. butler” ever did***



1. they’re 25 to 35 years old, straight and single with degrees and decent incomes

basically, they’re the remaining 7.2 percent nightline leaves out when they make their hysterical “92.8 percent of black men are either dead, in jail, unemployable, still rocking FUBU, or f*cking a kardashian” graphics



2. they live in college towns or cities with metropolitan areas over 500,000 people
this is very important for two reasons:
A) most large metropolitan areas are perceived to have more “eligible” women than men, and this assumption allows the diva dude to basically get away with his bullsh*t unfettered.
B) if a group of women get wise and catches them, recognizing in them numerous diva dude characteristics, there’s always another mall or happy hour or convention somewhere in the city where the “mythical black man” shtick will probably guarantee free panties. there are suckers for DD’s with degrees born every minute.



3. they’ve been the proverbial ugly duckling until very recently
this is important, because the fact that they weren’t getting any rhythm before they got “hot” creates an inherent b*tch*ssness that permeates everything they do.



4. they’re only friends with other diva dudes
all DD’s are close friends with between one and four other diva dudes, a safe number which gives them a couple clubbing and tailor trip buddies, but not so many that their diva light doesn’t shine as bright. remember, these ain’t alpha dogs or lone wolves, just a bunch of beta d*cks thirsty for attention.


basically, this is the type of guy whose *edit* would get harder at the thought of a chick at the mall double-taking while he’s walking past her and jigging audi keys in his hand than it would if he actually slept with her.



5. they’re not chivalrous and proud of it
there’s nothing else that screams “diva dude” louder than a grown man who’s practically excited to get the opportunity to let everyone else know all the simple sh*t they’d never do for a woman.
“pay for dinner??? trick, please. what i look like buying you appetizers and water and sh*t when you don’t even swallow??? plus, you make like 31g’s a year!!! you’re telling me you can’t afford to buy your own damn iced tea???”

part of being a grown man is doing the right thing without any expectation of acknowledgment or reward (Karen Clark-Sheard shouting in circles while holding on to my lacefront) , but a typical DD will voluntarily and happily relinquish a crucial component of his own manhood just because some janky broad or two didn’t immediately fellate him when he gave up his seat for her on the train seven years ago.



6. they LOVE to scapegoat

words such as “all” and “every” always seem to find a way into their sentences when speaking negatively about the opposite sex, a common practice used by folks so blinded by bitterness that they can’t see how foolish a statement such as “all black women with master’s degrees give terrible bl*w jobs” really is (even if it might be true).



7. they’re delusional

there’s nothing a DD loathes more than actually admitting that he’s a DD, a phenomenon which produces some of the most hilariously misguided attempts of synonym use known to man.

from “practical” and “prudent” to “rational” and “realistic”, a typical DD will have an endless supply of words and euphemisms that make his DIVA-ness sound much less harsh


“i’m not bitter. far from it. i’m just ahead of the curve.”



8. they’re in a ton of party pictures
diva dudes love posing in pictures at parties more than fat asians love pumas. seriously, if you’re ever at a mixer or happy hour somewhere and you’re looking for a diva dude, just find the ridiculously overdressed cat faux ice-grilling a camera while clutching a mojito. (I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair! no really my chair rolled back without me!)



9. they pledged a graduate chapter of a fraternity

trust me.



10. they don’t actually date
instead of actual dates, diva dudes only interact with women they’re interested in through “meet-ups”; courting arrangements specifically designed to alibi them out of any expectation or accountability. saying sh*t like “let’s chill sometime.“ instead of “friday, i’m gonna take u to da movies” is an affected verbal manipulation allowing them to reap the benefits of a commitment without actually committing to anything. there’s a reason God hates lawyers.

(Let me repeat that for ya: instead of actual dates, diva dudes only interact with women they’re interested in through “meet-ups”; courting arrangements specifically designed to alibi them out of any expectation or accountability. saying sh*t like “let’s chill sometime.“ instead of “friday, i’m gonna take u to da movies” is an affected verbal manipulation allowing them to reap the benefits of a commitment without actually committing to anything. there’s a reason God hates lawyers.)





admittedly, there is a certain allure to living this lifestyle. not so much in the DD actions, but in the figurative thumbing of the nose at all the nightline-esque stats and sistas stating that you’re extinct. but, despite the attraction to this state of mind, you have to remember that these are the dudes who probably will end up like champ kind from anchorman when they reach 40…single, lonely, and unable to function without the aid of his crew of like-minded relationship nincompoops, and all sistas (and brothas) should avoid them at all costs.



—the champ
_______________________________________________________________________

*slow 80s teen movie clap that erupts into thunderous applause*
I don't know who "the champ" is... but I am glad he's hip to how Black women I know feel! kudos!

I'm not sure how this whole blogging abotu a blog thing works, but I definitely tried to make sure I acknowledged these were not my words and came from Very Smart Brothas post entitled defining the "diva dude"!!

You Hear Me, But Are You LISTENING?

I was going to do a blog yesterday about picking your battles in relationships. But, I just didn't feel inspired after a while to even address it. Most times I have to write in the moment, or it just doesn't flow the way I want or need it to flow.

Last night my girl J & I went to a discussion about Black men & women. And at this point, I wish I had stayed home. We jokingly said we were going to go there just so we could repeat over and over GUYS... DON'T... LISTEN!  But as it turns out, guys don't listen. And they proved it last night over and over again. They also proved that guys are very sensitive. The main issue I had with the guys in the room is that most of them were married or taken. Why are you here? It certainly wasn't to give sage advice... It seems their primary purpose was to say I am going to do what I want and you should accept that and look where it could get you... married to me after 5 years of dealing with my "I should have my picture in the dictionary under the word 'player'" self... That's an actual quote from a married man!

The night started out okay, but it turned into an emotional cauldron when I said I'm not in the habit of talking to guys that get on at Judiciary Square wearing a white tee and jeans because most of the ones I have encountered there have been "on papers" or coming from court. Apparently that statement (well, that is a paraphrase) was the heartbreak heard round the room because all the tee shirt and jeans wearers got up in arms.

Q: Why?
A: Because they HEARD I don't talk to guys in tee shirts and jeans.

Q: Is that what I SAID?
A: NO! But because they weren't LISTENING, they got upset & suddenly every man in the room had a comment for ME!

Q: Was I the only woman talking?
A: NO! Nor was I the only woman SAYING what I was saying. But for some reason, it was all about ME & J last night. *waves to my fans in the stands*

The overriding theme last night was the women's perceptions were based on self-preservation. The guys' perceptions were based on "give a brother a chance"... Am I the only one that sees the problem here?

Most of the voice raising and attitude came OVERWHELMINGLY from the guys. Including one guy who got SO mad at my Judiciary Square comment he went outside to take a breather. Then when he came back, he had SO much to say about what J & I said from the beginning up until I finally just walked out.

Q: Why was he so mad?
A: Because he was just at Judiciary Square in a tee shirt and jeans.

Q: Why was he there?
A: To get points off his license...

Q: How is that different from being on papers, or going to court?
A: I'm not really sure, but he felt that made him better than the defendANTS I see down there on the regular.

Then he tried to say that he has been down there in a suit and tie because he was going to court. And people would assume he was a lawyer. He could not have been more wrong. Lawyers at Judiciary Square have rolling briefcases full of files, etc. If I saw you down here with a suit on and a folder, I'd know. But I never mentioned guys in suits, NOR my preference of men, NOR the guys/men that I have dated, talked to, befriended, etc. in the very recent past. Guess what? They're tee shirt and jeans wearers. But guess where I did NOT meet them? That's RIGHT! Judiciary Square! I even felt kinda bad for the tee shirt and jeans wearers in the room and said I pay attention to the style and brand. But of course that just meant I was a Label Whore. and it certainly could not have meant that I use context clues to weed out the defendants from the hard-working tee shirt and jeans wearers.

The truth is I have dated guys without cars, guys that lived with their parents, guys that had more tennis shoes then dress shoes, guys that only graduated high school, guys that are artists and musicians, guys that were manual laborers. The TRUTH is I give a brother a chance, but the TRUTH is also, I have to be careful when and where. Because as a single woman in a Metro area, I'm all I got. But instead of empathizing with that, the guys that were there last night were waiting for a chance to defend or in some cases offend. People came to my defense last night because they said that I was being attacked. I didn't feel attacked, I found it funny because all attention was on me in a room full of women with similar opinions and I just couldn't figure out why. I can't explain to you HOW in their feelings some of those guys were... It got to the point where I would just laugh when they started talking. Because they were THAT emotional about tee shirts and jeans. But had they bothered to ask me if I dated men in tee shirts and jeans the answer would be an OVERWHELMING yes! One of the men I see most often is older than most of the guys in the room and is an AVID tee shirt and jeans wearer. I have seen him dressed up MAYBE twice.

But once the guy that had been in my and J's face all night suddenly got STANK! I knew it was time to excuse myself before I really got into it with him. He said he wasn't going to say everything he wanted to say because it would make too much sense. My response: "Yeah why would you want to make sense in a DISCUSSION!" and laughed. Apparently that was what turned him into a crazy-eyed HULK and he began spewing madness. Then it carried over into his business-sense and I heard him say probably the rudest thing you would want to hear from a business-owner. and THAT was when I had to leave. He had gotten so emotional about tee shirts and jeans, he let it cloud his business mind. EMOTIONAL!

"Look at me, I can't stop CRYING

Inside my heart is slowly DYING!"

The guys assumed that I was mad at one point, I told them that I was really disappointed because they weren't listening. And they proved it time and again.

And we're not even going to GET on the topic of the blatant lies that were being told and the inconsistencies in stories. For instance, TWO guys said they were players, those TWO guys were tee shirt and jeans guys, those TWO guys got mad at me for not wanting to talk to tee shirt and jeans guys at Judiciary Square, YET those TWO guys just said they were players... But maybe it's just me...

Shout out to alll my tee shirt and jeans wearing men that work hard and do what a man is supposed to do!!! *muah*

WHEW, I feel better now... can you say CATHARTIC!


p.s. I purposely didn't mention the name of the establishment or event because I'm going to "give the brothers a chance" again in the near future...

Plus Zero

Just a quick rant...

Why does it seem like some people alwys have something to say, but NOTHING to add. Think about that for a moment. In meetings at work, there is always that one person that has to say something, butin the end, what they say neither adds nor subtracts from the convo. It's just there. like a "+ 0" in a long equation. Why is this here? no matter where it is in the equation: beginning, middle, or the end- the fact remains, it adds nothing.

I know plenty of folk that are "minus one"s taking away from something important. And there are those people that like to give extemporaneous info "Exponentializers", they are the ones that just like to show you how much more they know than you... useless as it may be.

I am sure we have all been one of these or the other at some point in time. But what do you do when a person is a constant "+ 0" to the point where it sticks out like a sore thumb and aggravates you just as much.

For once, I don't know... If I come up with something, I'll let you know.

or not...

I Feel a Vibe!

Recently, I have been asked out on second dates that I was not very eager to accept. Why? Because the first date wasn't that hot. Imagine the picture above with the roles reversed and instead of me talking on the phone, I'm tweeting or sending a BBM or otherwise distracted.

I have also been on dates where I have been the girl in the picture. But I knew there would be no second date. And usually so did he. But lately there seems to be a necessity to call someone up or let someone know at the end of a not-so-great date that there will be no other dates thereafter.

A friend of mine, M, told our friend, J, that she liked one of J's brother's group of friends. She didn't say who. So one of them takes it upon themselves to say it was him. He told J's brother, "I feel a vibe!" He could not have been more WRONG! But did that stop him? NOPE!

So what makes some men so oblivious to vibeless interactions? How is it possible that two people can have two wildly different impressions of the same date. Were you not there when I texted an SOS to my friend? Did you not show up to the date high and with your hair unbrushed?

I need to understand why must I be the heavy and actually SAY: "I'm not interested in seeing you again." Especially since after much better dates, I got no callbacks & dealt with it with a shrug & a *delete*. But for SOME reason, recently, I've actually had to tell guys no thank you. And it wasn't very easy. I wonder if I will have to get used to this. *sigh* I hope not. *womp womp*

What You Won't Do For Love...

Listen to this AS you read... there's no video, so your aren't missing anything... lol

Everyone has their pet peeves and their lists and rules, written and unwritten, of things that they will not put up with in a relationship. The number one thing I find intolerable in any relationship (friends, lovers, family, etc.) is being dismissed or disregarded. Now, normally, that would set me off. But I'm trying to be & do better about letting people know how I feel and why one good time before blessing them out! But it truly makes me feel as if you think I am lesser-than and if I care about or for you, that bothers me tremendously. Now, once I have told you this, I expect to only have to remind you once at the MOST! After that? No holds barred. I'm GOING to go deaf with rage (my ears literally start ringing and I can't hear what I am saying) and let the Hulk out on you, verbally. I had an ex-boyfriend that couldn't quite grasp the concept of listening and it drove me BANANAS! But now, I think I try to be just a smidge more patient with people.

This has led me to the question: What do or can I be more tolerable of in the name of "love", "like", "canoodlery"? Well amongst my more minor pet peeves are:

• pretending to know what I'm talking about- I don't need you to humor me... if you don't get it, then you just don't & that's cool.
• stereotyping my girls and me- I can guarantee that neither I nor my group of female friends are like any other females you have ever encountered. So when you think you know how we roll, how we treat one another, what we discuss... you don't! Promise you that!
• mispronouncing things- I am a stickler for grammar, syntax, and pronunciation, for the most part. So saying things like skrimp, or putting the word "The" in front of store names and an "s" at the end... AGGRAVATING!
• not being diverse or branching out- If you only eat fried rice at any asian-esque restaurant or don't trust nothing but the burgers at any restaurant with a burger on the menu or ball your face up when I mention hummus, gyros, or feta cheese or think sushi is SIMPLY raw fish... we might don't make it!
• being an overall bamma- Those shoes with that those jeans? Those jeans with that shirt? That shirt with ANYTHING? *smh* I don't know how I feel about dating a guy that wears stuff that my girls and I would frown on... or do I?

The fact is, ALL of this can be overlookable and even seem a little shallow if you truly like the PERSON and they treat you well. If your friends are really your friends, they should applaud you for overlooking minutae when what you have at the core is a good person. If that person is also compromising in the aforementioned areas, then you may be on to something. But if that person isn't giving way at all and expects you to do all the bending, you may have a problem.

ANY relationship requires some compromise. If someone tells you otherwise they are selfish and not worth your time! Now I have to sit back and ponder what is worth compromising and what is not. I already know being disregarded or dismissed is a "NO GO" in the Book of Bri!!!

Everything else on the short list (very short for me) miiiiight be negotiable. Hmmmmm... We'll see...

What Makes a Weekend Awesome?

I had a great weekend... What made it SO great?

1. Shopping in Georgetown on Friday!
2. Drinks and conversation on the waterfront!
3. Cuddling up with a GREAT book!
4. A GREAT conference call on Saturday morning!
5. AWESOME shopping finds & secret sale prices!
6. SANGING for 2 great church services without having to change shoes!
7. A productive meeting of the minds for an amazing venture!
8. A great movie & good conversation with a "man's man"!

Lemme break it down.

1. Friday I left work early to handle some biz & then met a friend in G'town for food & shopping. The food was good, the SECOND time. (I had to send my first plate back because it was ice cold *shudder*) Then, we sashayed thru the G'Town streets laughing & chatting as the 80 degree wind whipped around us.

2. We decided to go to Sequoia for a drink. the wind was WHIPPING, but it was so warm, we didn't care! We saw an AWESOME wedding shower/party. The bride & groom had on pink tuxedo tees. The groom's tee was couled with a seersucker jacket. It was AWESOMENESS! Then there was one guest that she & I kept sending the "look over here" vibe. He wasn't getting it. He was wearing a black shirt, tie & vest. and he was ADORABLE! Ah, well, he was probably a d-bag anyway.

3. For some reason last week, the book "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" kept popping into my head. NO idea why. I have never read it, didn't know who wrote it, or where I had heard of it. My girl wanted to go into the B&N on M Street to use the facilities and look for a book that was recommended to her. As we strolled through the fiction section randomly picking up books with interesting titles and reading the descriptions, we stopped at the end of one aisle and I happened to look to my right & there it was! The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Mila Kundera. I told my friend that that title kept popping in my head & then there it was. She remarked, you  HAVE to read it! I admitted I had NO idea what it was about. So I read the back & was IMMEDIATELY ready to sit right there in the store & read it. I handed it over to her & she said WE HAVE TO READ THIS! So we are. She is waaay ahead of me so I have GOT to get to reading today! I came home, EXHAUSTED, but determined to at least START the book. and now 9 pages in... I am way too emotionally involved in it & I LOVE THAT!

4. Saturday morning I was supposed to be on a conference call for a ministry at church. There only ened up being 4 people that called in. But we got alot accomplished & I "took minutes". I'm not great at it, but hey, I had to do what I had to do. There are some GREAT things on the horizon & I am excited & proud to be part of it!

5. Went to a not so local mall to find a pink shirt & possibly a red and or purple shoe. I found both a pink & purple shirt and some nice jeans that rang up cheaper than they said on the sale sign! We strolled through the shoe section and I remarked that the shoes were boring... until I beheld THIS SHOE!

HELLO GORGEOUS!

I asked for a 9, they didn't have it! But she brought me a 8.5 & 9.5 just to see. I tried on the 8.5 & it wasn't fitting properly. :-( I asked if she could find out who had a 9. She brought me back a list. The store closest to me had ONE 9 left. Then there was another with 2 pair & one that was FAR away with 3 pair. I was already prepared to spend a pretty penny on the shoes, but LOOK AT THEM! *drool drool drool* So I dropped my friend off & head straight to the store near me. When I walk in, I see a fuschia suede pair, but not the black leather. *sigh* I ask the salesperson if they have it in black in a 9. She checks, and they have do indeed have one pair in a 9. I try them on & it's as if I was stepping into heaven! I took them to the register all prepared to spend an insane amount of money (for ME anyways) on a great shoe. The salesperson informed me the shoe was ON SALE! *the crowd goes wild!* I proudly and happily pay the sale price and hurry home to try them on! I strutted around the house in them for about 20 minutes and tried them on with various outfit possibilities for church on Sunday! Afterwards, I laid in the bed basking in the glow of a great shopping day!

6. Our church has new monitors & cameras, so how the choir looks is important. We were told to "bring it" on Sunday. So I did. I played in makeup for a WHILE, finally getting a look I could live with & be proud of and headed out the door. I was so scared of messing up the heel of my shoe, I didn't even wear them INTO church. I carried them with me! When I got there I prayed that my feet would not be ABLAZE before offering and put the shoes on. The shoes lasted through BOTH services and well into the evening. As did the makeup! I feared my voice would give out because my section was outnumbered, but it didn't! The message was great & the spirit was high! Boom bang POW!

7. I stopped by to see a friend & run an errand then I headed to a meeting. At this meeting, some great things came together with some great minds. I am really excited about the possibilites and outcome. But I won't share it right now. :-)

8. I checked the mirror as I was leaving the meeting & my makeup was still jammin on the one. I wiggled my toes in my awesome shoes and they were still good to go. The sun was giving me energy & I wasn't ready to go home. I called up a friedn of mine and asked if he wanted to hang out. He said yes & we went to the movies to see "Date Night". FUNNY! Afterwards, we sat in the car and had a long discussion about men & women. And he thought he knew what I was going to say. He did not. He thought he knew how my close friends and I get down. He was wrong. He thought he had me pegged. NOPE!

I wish I could replay this weekend all over again, it was that super-duper! And i look forward to having several more weekends like it!

Did Tawanna Tell You That?: Fenty "Defends" Rhee

A few years back, Allen Iverson was rumored to have thrown his wife Tawanna out of the house naked. Once word spread, the reporters converged on the Iverson home asking questions & making accusations. Ann Iverson, A.I.'s mom comes out of the house and attempts to make a statement about all marriages having their ups and downs. A reporter asks if that includes tossing your wife out naked and Ann gets super defensive telling them to get out of her face and asking where did they get that information and finally she asks:

"Did Tawanna tell you that?"

GOLDEN SOUNDBYTE! GOLDEN!!!

This morning, I got into work a little later than usual because I was watching DC's own Mayor Fenty on Fox 5 fielding questions regarding a supposed budget deficit that ended up being a budget surplus in DC's education department. For those that may not be familiar, Chancellor Rhee was brought in to "fix" DC's HORRID education system and she recently fired 200 teachers. Some of whom had been teaching for years upon years. Some that taught ME & my friends! Anyway, initially it was IMPLIED that the teachers had assaulted or otherwise inappropriately interacted with students. Then she said only SOME of them had.

Earlier this week, it was announced that Rhee may have miscalculated the average teacher's salary by 20K and now the deficit is a surplus. VOILA! I'm not great at math, buterahhhhh... a $43 million deficit turns into a $34 million dollar surplus, HOW?

Fenty came on the show smiling! And then he launched his d-bag defense! He was condescending and arrogant and clearly being defensive! He asked the reporter: "Who are you talking to?" in reference to where she got the information she was sharing with him. At one point he claimed not to have all of the information when he was apparently denying there was a math mistake despite Rhee admitting to her $77 million dollar "OOPS!" He even asked her: "What does that have to do with anything?" when she tried to link the firings (which Fenty claims were a result of the City Council cutting $20 mil), the math mistake, and the surplus.

*TIME OUT*

I'm not a math whiz by ANY means. But, if you get your budget cut by $20 mil and you cut 200+ teachers. Then end up with $34 million EXTRA because you were making good fiscal decisions.... Why couldn't you keep the teachers and make the good fiscal decisions before? But you know what, I'm not good at math or apparently common sense either. So let's move on, shall we?

*TIME IN*

When I shared this with my e-mail crew, one of them replied:

Did Tawanna tell you that?

And that is JUST how the interview felt! He was SUPER defensive like someone was lying on his child! Then he was getting funky on the news reporter like her name was Big Bub. (random 90s New Jack Swing reference) Will the teachers get their jobs back? NO! Will Fenty admit anything went wrong? NO! Will he let you talk bad about the wrong-doings, miscalculations and HUGE MISTAKES his kids hand-picked staff are rumored to have made? NO!

Did Tawanna tell you that?

NO!

Holly Hobby!

I went to NYC about a year ago for a fabu wedding. And I decided I wanted to but a camera that took better pictures than my rinky dink handheld. I tried to borrow one, but by the time I got someone to let me hold theirs, it was too late to try to get it from them. So I went to NYC with the decision to buy one. I OVERPAID for a FujiFilm DSLR and commenced to taking some GREAT pics!

I fell in love with photography! I started taking pics of some of everything! Here are a few:

I also took some shots of a friend of mine that she loved. Since then I have been asked to do a photoshoot and I was thinking I need to step my game WAY UP! I went to Amazon and bought an umbrella light 

Then one night I was asked to take some pics in a dark club and I realized my flash wasn't cuttin it! I looked into buying a new camera, but as I was researching I realized there was a little invention called a light scoop that helped make the flash less direct. I am excited to try it! So now, I am reading up on digital photography and just in time for summer, I'll be ready to actually charge a little money for my services. 

Until then, I am seeking a male model for some test shots. Nudity not necessary! *wink*

A Failure to Communicate

So it would seem, the less interested you act... the more interested a guy becomes. I have two problems with this:

1. I don't like playing games.
2. What if I'm really NOT interested?

It appears that I have no choice in the latter. I just got off the phone with a guy I met in Glen Burnie back in February after he gave me his parking space in a crowded parking lot and subsequently pulled up behind me to "holla". I was in a hurry, so I cut the small talk, took his number & ran inside the building. After leaving, I decided to go ahead and get it out of the way, so I called him. He seemed cool. Older, divorced, one child that is about 10, business owner... several businesses. Then, his inconsistencies began to show.

He'd ask what I was doing on a certain day because he wanted to see me go to dinner, etc. Then I wouldn't hear from him for a week. This happened more than once. But I guess since we never set a time, it's not really considered being stood up, right? So after the first time, I just didn't take him as a man of his word... and he didn't make any effort to be one. I stopped calling. He did not. He would call late. He would call early. He would call 2 times within a few hours. (But not in a stalkerish calling everyday kind of way... just once a week or so) I would look at the phone with the "Mm." face. Now some guys may be saying that ain't right, blah blah blah. And really that is true.

The last time he called, I answered. It was late and I was in Miami so I picked up the phone without looking thinking it was one of my friends that was down there at the time. It was not. I was short with him, told him I was in Miami and he asked me to bring him a real estate paper back. WHAT??? He said it would be a good reason for us to link up. After the various previous missed links, I knew there was a very slim chance I would see him or talk to him anytime after that. I was correct.

It has been almost exactly one month since I went to Miami. about an hour ago my phone rings & I recognize the number as his. I took a deep breath and answered the phone. I was determined to make it plain today. I was dry, short & less than chatty. He noticed, but apparently that wasn't enough for him. He continued to talk as if we had just spoken last week. He asked what area I worked in & said he wanted to do lunch. Then he started telling me where he was and asking if that was close to where I worked. I told him no. He kept talking about going to lunch and I point out to him that I never agreed to go to lunch with him. He asks if I have time for lunch today, I say yes. He asks if I can go to lunch today, I say I COULD. I think he may finally be starting to get it.

Finally after a few more minutes of pained conversation I said: "The last few times you said you wanted to see me, you didn't even bother to call back."

His response: "I've been busy, I've got businesses to run. I'm hiring people and firing people. I get sidetracked." (I know someone in a similar situation who has made time to text, or call, or send a FB message... SOMETHING.)

I say, dryly, "For weeks at a time?"

He laughs a little and says. "Well, over that time, as strange as it seems I WAS thinking about you, if you can believe that. I just really been busy."

"Well, you can make time for anything if you wanted to."

"This is true."

"You didn't leave me with a great impression."

Here he goes into a spiel about even if we're just friends he thinks I'm a good person. And good people need good people and this and that and the other. Insert mixed metaphors and misinterpreted cliches here. BLAH! He apologized several times. Then, after allll that he says: "So when can we try again this week?" Is he serious? I said what happened to going to lunch this afternoon. He said he wouldn't be done until 9 PM. Ummmm huh? I reminded him that he JUST said something about going to lunch today. He says he is free until 12. It was 10:50. He says the ball is in my court, yadda yadda. I say I am free Wednesday. He says ok how about an early dinner. I ask what is early. He says 8. I'm thinking 8 isn't early, that's dinnerTIME. He says ok then 6 on Wednesday. I say, sure. And he tells me to call him later. I say goodbye and hang up. I talk to my girl via IM... and then, I share it with you.

So, here is my rationale. I had never informed him that I found his previous actions to be egregious. So I cannot, in all fairness, fault him for them. Upon informing him of such, it is only fair to give him the opportunity to redeem himself. His age and assumed level of experience with women, notwithstanding, I cannot assume that he knew better though I am fairly certain he did. I have made it plain for him and will no longer bite my tongue. We'll see how THIS turns out... *eyeroll*

I Love The Roots for THIS!

I follow ?estlove on Twitter. And I look forward to his live tweets from the set of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon... and then I look for the stuff he tweets about on the show that night (well, actually on DVR in the morning... HA!)

Well, yesterday he was tweeting about 6-Bee Late Night's parody of Glee. He said it was a must watch... and boy was he right... the cast of Parks & Rec, Abby Eliot of SNL & The Roots singing and DANCING! I LOVED it. Some people are upset that The Roots are even the Late Night band... but I LOVE them even more for that... OH WELL... here's the clip... what say you?

Diplomatic Impunity

Let me get this straight... You can smoke on a plane, make a joke about shoe bombs and you get questioned and released, NO PROBLEM? Now it's come out that Mohammed Al-Madadi just so happened to be on his way to visit an imprisoned al-Qaida agent .

REALLY!?!? Seriously, dude? Seriously, Homeland Security?

And the Qatari ambassador said: "We respect the necessity of special security precautions involving air travel, but this diplomat was traveling to Denver on official business on my instructions,he was certainly not engaged in any threatening activity."

Hey, dude, thanks for clearing that up for us... *third grade eyeroll*

Ummmmm, SMOKING on the plane is ok? JOKING about a shoe bomb is ok? Ummmm... *sigh*

How was he not tackled and wrestled to the ground? *smh* It must be nice to come up in someone's country & do whatever you want & have it all be fun & games! Oh, to be a diplomat!

Spring Cleaning

I am going to TRY to make some chznges around here over the next few days... Including labeling my rants errrrrr blogs a little better. So if you see things a lil differently over the next week or so ("or so" because you know how distracted I get) I'm trying to step my game up. So with that said, let me get on this latest blog!

Hated It!

Some friends and I were out the other day and we began to discuss the people on FB & Twitter that are always talking about "haters" or someone "hating on" them. And we realized that we don't have those kinds of problems. We couldn't really articulate why, initially, then it hit us.

We don't acknowledge such foolishness!

None of us strut around thinking we are all of that and in reality we are a mess like those people that swear someone's hating on them constantly. We don't make our life decisions based on how other people will view us or admire us. We have our own self-image that is in no way sculpted by other's input, except maybe each other's. But even in THAT case it's positive input.

Why do some people always have drama? Why do some people always think someone is hating on them? Why do some people always seem to be doing too much, YET.... not enough? It boils down to insecurity and poor life decisions.

As I was discussing this blog topic just moments ago with my girl J, she said: "I'm trying to figure out how having a crazy car note that you can barely afford makes me wanna 'hate' you." And there you have it. Why would your car note be that high and you are scraping it together each month?- Poor Life Decision! Why would you think that rolling in the aforementioned barely paid for car would draw people's attention and distaste for someone they don't even know?- Insecurity! Why would you even acknowledge strangers and other non-friends' opinions?- Insecure Poor Life Decisions.

We all have done something we knew wasn't very smart or wise, but to then pretend that that thing was smart or wise? or to never acknowledge it was in fact DUMB? Not to the outside world, but to yourself... ACKNOWLEDGE the foolishness for what it is! And then govern yourself accordingly. Change your mind, change your LIFE!

If you always seem to have someone hating on you.... maybe it's JUST YOU... LITERALLY.

Music & Me: I Have an Announcement to Make!

May I have your attention, PLEASE... *waits for you all to fall quiet*

Thank you. After much consideration and several hours of playing New Amerykah, Pt. 2: Return of the Ankh.... I have finally determined my favorite song! *waits for the applause to die down*

Of course everyone loves "Window Seat" so that was not a consideration. Additionally, I LOVED "Agitation" musically but, not enough to call it a favorite! And "Can't Turn Me Away (Get MuNNY) appeals to me musically as it does what I always do when I hear Biggie's song: Sing Sylvia Striplin's song over the chorus... and when I hear Stripling's song I chant GET MONEY! Silly, I know... but what do you expect from ME? right?

So, with no further pomp or circumstance, I reveal to thee:

Gone Baby, Don't Be Long

Some of you are no doubt shocked and/or appalled that  I didn't choose: Out My Mind, Just in Time. However, that, to me is a MASTERPIECE and choosing that as a favorite would be equivalent to saying that the Mona Lisa is your favorite painting... it's a MASTERPIECE it's EVERYONE's favorite. It is the be all end all. Referring to it as a favorite is almost like cheapening it's level of perfection!

Why do I like THIS song, you ask? I'll tell you why. I said a while back on The Twitter (I LOVE when older people add The to everything!): "I am long-suffering AND ride or die, but u make me suffer too long or ride around in CIRCLES... I won't be the 1 dyin!" "Gone Baby..." brought this to mind. She stays by the guy's side. Proudly watching him work and anticipating how great he'll be once he reaches his goal. And she really wants to know is if he's as in love with her as she is with him; an answer she never really gets. She suspects he's hiding something... hmmmmm. I totally relate.

*bangs gavel*

CASE CLOSED!

Music & Me: New Amerykah, Pt. 2: Return of the Ankh

I'm not gonna GUSH about how much I loves me some Erykah! I dig the skin I'm in, but she takes it to a whole other level!

Originally I had planned to go to a store and buy the album so i could have the cover art and liner notes, etc. Then as her CD was caaaaaallin me, I looked it up on iTunes and discovered that it came with a digital booklet, HURRAH! I downloaded, took a deep breath and began to listen. That was an hour or so ago... and I am still listening, only on the second go round, but here are my thoughts... FYI, I WROTE these down on a notepad as I listened...

Music & Me: Can I Get a Window Seat?

Some of you may or may not know that Erykah Badu has an album coming out tomorrow.
First of all let me say the cover art is DOPE! I mean that! I'd like a poster of it to frame & hang!

courtesy of rnbmusicblog.com

Over the weekend, the incomparable Miz Badu released her video for Window Seat. I watched it with my mouth open WIDE!

The video is filmed in fuzzy old school news footage style and consists solely of Erykah walking through Downtown Dallas removing her clothes. In the end, she is "assasinated" and the words "GROUP THINK" appear in her purple/blue blood as she is there completely naked on the ground. The camera pans around & comes back & she is wearing nothing but a Rick James-esque braid wig, like the one below... only nuder lol:

Here is a youtube link I found for it. Or you can go to http://www.erykahbadu.com/ and see it there then check what I have to say about it below, ok? ok!

The video begins with the news report from the day Kennedy was shot in Downtown Dallas and ends with spoken word from Badu about Group Think and assasination of "what they do not understand". In the song, she is saying she wants to get away, but only if she will be missed. In the video, she is stripping down her layers and killed once she is bare. Hmmmmm...

*sidnote* on Twitter over the weekend she explained that this video was shot in one take, guerilla style... and people were really IGNORING her sans one man that was picking up the clothes she dropped and folksoff-camera shouting at her. But hardly anyone ON CAMERA is paying her any mind. It was an interesting implied commentary on society, I think.

I can dig it. I can't wait for the album to drop tomorrow, but I need the CD, cover art and all, so I will be brick & mortaring it at some point tomorrow lol. I admit I wasn't digging the anger of the first in the New Amerykah trilogy, but I do own it out of support for someone I see as a great artist!

Now with all that said, I too fell victim to the male mindset because when she was in her skivvies my first thought was "DAAAAAAANG, shegottadonk!" And to watch her move made me feel good about what I got goin on over here, empowered even, because it looked so majestic moving in semi slow motion, but I digress. Great video, great concept and SHAME on those that cannot discuss anything else about it other than her backside!

So, what say you all? I'd love to hear what you think...

GOP, You're DESPICABLE!

I just read in the Huffington Post that the Republican members of Congress are refusing to work after 2 PM because Health Care Reform was passed thanks to reconciliation. Reconciliation has been used in the past by the GOP to pass three tax cuts which lead to a LARGE deficit during the Bush Administration. This is the first time that reconciliation has been use to pass a bill such as this healthcare bill. Clinton vetoed 2 reconcilliations during his terms in office to prevent a deficit.

Remember the Debt clock was shut down twice. Once during the Clinton Administration because it was ticking in REVERSE! and once during the Bush Administration to make room for ANOTHER digit!

Now, with all that said, what is WRONG with this country? People weren't this adamant about sending our children off to die in a war based on incorrect information. But they are threatening people's lives because they are pro life or against a bill that helps keep people alive. Does anyone else see the irony in this? Ok, so it's just ME? cool!

Not knowing all the nuances of the bill, the one thing that I CAN side with the detractors on is that health insurance is mandatory. If you don't want to have health insurance... I don't care as long as I don't have to foot the bill. On the flip side, if you cannot afford healthcare and need a little help from your fellow Americans I'm all for it. I'm also all for the revisions being made to the healthcare system that for SO long has been denying SO many coverage, or offering them coverage at EXORBITANT rates or denying them appeals and such. But what about these self-serving, selfish people that are threatening people's lives over a few dollars that they won't even miss?

WOW, I digress... ok... where was I? oh yeah...

GOP, STAND UP!

This is not a neighborhood pick up game. You cannot just take your ball and go home! You have a responsibility to AMERICA to work together to get things done. You can't just fold your arms and stand in the corner pouting. This is way immature, and way way stupid. You refused to play ball, so they played without you. It's been happening to the Dems for a while now, so how does it feel? I also want to know how it feels to see your constituency acting like lunatics. The refusal of the Republican party to take a FIRMER stance on the foolishness is repulsive. It's equivalent to a child TEARING through a store climbing on things, smashing things, going nuts. And the mother comes over & says quietly to him: "I know you are upset, but this is a no-no." Ummm that's not gonna work. Sometimes you have to grab the child's arm & lead him firmly out of the store to the parking lot and raise your voice so they KNOW you mean business... SHAKE HIM if you have to, but for goodness sake get control over your child!

But how can I expect such behavior from a group who themselves are acting like children? The funniest part about all of this is that it was originally John McCain's threat that if healthcare reform passed due to reconciliation, the GOP would withhold consent to continue meetings. Yet, John McCain himself seemed to have forgotten that and gave his consent for an Armed Services Committee meeting. HA!

Democracy is once again being held back thanks to the GOP... Goofy Old Pouters. Get over it! :-P

Miami Miami MIAMI!- a very summed up summary

Let me start by saying that I have been to Miami/South Beach a FEW times. My girl has been before, BUT only with her family. And her cousin had never been. So I was really excited about them really EXPERIENCING South Beach! So, with that said, let me continue where I last left off:

Friday night, we CRASHED... I crashed majorly hardT and woke up early Saturday fully dressed &; in make-up. Shame Shame SHAME!  I washed my face immediately when I woke up, and then went right back to the futon for more sleep! Once everyone else got up, we put on some clothes & headed to breakfast. Cafe Millano was AWESOME and inexpensive. I had the best Eggs Benedict i had ever had in my life... ok so it was the ONLY eggs benedict I'd ever had, so?

Then it was BEACHTIME! We were sprawled out on the beach for HOURS... enjoying the sites and sun

 As LOVELY as it looks, the water was WAY cold!

Just a FEW clouds in the sky.

Moon over Miami!

After a few hours in the sun, we head back in to shower, change & EAT! BBQ Beach was on point! Despite not having any cornbread, our waiter made up for it in adorable looks and GREAT personality. We went to a rooftop party that was a lil bit boring so we took pictures & vamoosed to Ocean Drive. My friend's cousin had never been to Wet Willie's so we took here there. She didn't even come CLOSE to finishing her drink! We sat out & people-watched some more and called it a day. In between we met some great people & such, but because I am giving you all the VERY summed up summary, I won't bore you with all of that...

For Brunch on Sunday we went to Big Pink & got HORRIFIC service... *sigh* SUCH a disappointment because it was suggested that we go there... :( The food was just ok & it gave us enough fuel to get to Bayside to shop. We attempted to take the bus there, but it was taking too long, so we hopped a cab. Onthe way there, I was called by a friend of mine offering us tickets to Jazz in the Gardens, Tom Joyner's event. But we weren't prepared for that so we graciously declined. I was a little disappointed we couldn't got, but that was well made up for later...

We had fabo gelato by the water & perused the stores. I got a text from my friend saying that my R&B boo, Eric Roberson, would be doing a set at a venue on South Beach that evening. I was OVER THE MOON! We continued to shop & laugh & such... and then hopped a bus back to South Beach where we made friends with a blind guy that was happy to hear that we were so happy... lol

We perused Lincoln Road and had sushi near the fountain... GREAT TIMES! We got all jiggy fly & went to B.E.D. for our last night.

Peep the sweet feet!

The AWESOME promoter for the event gave us sweet seats for one of the most EARGASMIC shows I've ever experienced... Eric Roberson intimate & acoustic?!?!?!?!! *fans self*

This was the setup: And babyyyyyyy, when I tell you that thing was ah-may-zen!?!? Trust & believe I am not lyin or exaggeratin! That guitarist was great!

A PERFECTLY awesome ending to a PERFECTLY awesome vacay...

VACATION SHOUT OUTS

Shouts out to The Nassau Suite Hotel for the awesome upgrade & the cool staff! But most of all for the room that felt so much like home that we called it that!

There was a BIG living room too, but there are people in all the pics, so I left those out, HA!

And let's not forget the GREAT food:

Bar-B-Que Beach

Caffe Milano

Bongo's Cuban Cafe

Sushi Siam

T-Mex

Groovy's Pizza

And last but definitely not least D Mo, Erro & Ingrid B. for helping us end the vacation with a BOOM, POW, BANG!

Bienvenido A Miami!- A Picture Blog

So, I'm here now! and Apparently Miami looks goooood on ME!

Friday the girls and I put our sweet feet to the street.

And we have seen some sights!!!  Good, bad and uglay!

THE GOOD: A new shirtless bonus:

We met some guys on Ocean Drive that were WAY younger than us, but WAY into us.... so cute... sounds like my LAST trip to Miami... *giggles*

THE BAD:

Operation Desert Storm??

THE UGLY: 

orange leather skin???

We've scooped up some prime people-watching real estate and took in the energy!

No plans for the day & that's just fine with us! Maybe the beach, maybe Bayside... *shrug* Who knows, who cares... I'm on vacation #1. Day 1- IN THE BOOKS...  Day 2 starts... NOW!

Hey Cookie, Where are the curvy women?

So I get an email from Neiman Marcus about CJ by Cookie Johnson. I had heard that Mrs. Magic Johnson was designing jeans for women with hips and backsides, supposedly. But when I open the email, that's NOT what I see! Who are these stick figures? So I click on the ad, hoping to see "curvy women" on the website... but NOPE... more sticks in jeans. FAIL FAIL FAIL! Seriously, where are THIS chick's curves???

The "New Face" of Terrorism?

She called herself "JihadJane" and she recruited people via internet and by flying all over the WORLD to meet with them... and so on and so forth. She went "undetected" for so long, why? Well according to the awesome blog: Stuff White People Do because people failed to see "the wolf in white sheep's clothing". Because she had blonde hair and blue eyes she remained under the radar. Her name and appearance made her an unlikely suspect for a terrorist act because she didn't look like a "terrorist"?

What does a terrorist look like though? Apparently just non-white. The Nigerian underwear bomber wasn't labeled a "new face" yet he also looked nothing like the 9/11 terrorists who apparently are the "old face" of terrorism or THE face of terrorism?  So I guess anyone non-white with a muslim or arabic name can EASILY be identified as a terrorist. And in JihadJane's case she was a muslim so I guess that's why she was slapped with the terrorist label but not the IRS airplane guy or the Pentagon shooter?

What say you?

Lil Mama Moment: He Said, She Said...

In case you missed it because you were doing something more interesting like painting your toes, picking your nose or watching paint dry, Black history was made at the Oscars. Mo'Nique won Best Supposrting actress and was the first Black woman to win the statue for a movie written and directed by Black people. But one great moment in Black history was overshadowed by pure shenanigans from a Mrs. Garrett look alike with a big yap and an agenda, apparently. Now the reason I call it a Lil Mama Moment is because she jumped up on stage like she was supposed to be there & like Lil Mama was caught up in the excitement of the moment... Plus, I don't like KW lol

SHE SAID: What happened was the director and I had a bad difference over the direction of the film that resulted in a lawsuit that has settled amicably out of court. But there have been all these events around the Oscars, and I wasn’t invited to any of them. And he’s not speaking to me. So we weren’t even able to discuss ahead of the time who would be the one person allowed to speak if we won. And then, as I’m sure you saw, when we won, he raced up there to accept the award. And his mother took her cane and blocked me. So I couldn’t get up there very fast.

The movie was my idea. I live in Zimbabwe. Roger had never even heard of Zimbabwe before I told him about this. And you know, I felt my role in this has been denigrated again and again, and it wasn’t going to happen this time.

I SAY: SIT DOWN, TRICK! If things were settled amicably then, why would you not: know who was going to be "allowed to speak"? or be invited to anything having to do with the Oscars? or allegedly be blocked in by his mother?

I am not even going to get into her living in Zimbabwe or WHY! But to insult this guy and say he had never heard of Zimbabwe is basically calling him uneducated. In which case, why would you even want to WORK with him? this whole thing reads like a crazy old cat lady rant!

HE SAID: Only one person is allowed to accept the award. I was the director, and she was removed from the project nearly a year ago, but she was able to still qualify as a producer on the project, and be an official nominee. But she was very angry — she actually removed herself from the project – because she wanted more creative control.


I SAY: That was exactly how it looked. And even if she IS telling the truth, her actions just seem fishy. Either way, it was VERY poor taste on HER part to jack the mic. But very noble of him to smile and acquiesce.

Whoever was right or wrong, lying or telling the truth, Kanye or Taylor Swift, Lil Mama or Jay-Z... the whole thing was a confusing mess! I hope they can work this out MORE amicably!

Naomi Campbell- Rich Girl!

Hall & Oates had a little ditty about Rich Girl's back in the day that went a little something like:

You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far

'Cause you know it don't matter anyway

You can rely on the old man's money

You can rely on the old man's money

It's a bxtch girl and it's gone too far

'Cause you know it don't matter anyway

Say money but it won't get you too far,

Get you too far

High and dry, out of the rain

It's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain

And don't you know that a love can't grow

'Cause there's too much to give, 'cause you'd rather live

For the thrill of it all, oh

And Gwen Stefani also had a tune about it that went a little something like:

If I was a rich girl (na, na....)
See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl
No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end
Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl

Think what that money could bring
I'd buy everything
Clean out Vivienne Westwood
In my Galliano gown
No, wouldn't just have one hood
A Hollywood mansion if I could
Please book me first-class to my fancy house in London town

And as Naomi Campbell avoids another assault charge, I'm starting to believe that she is INDEED a Rich Girl and that money IS getting her FAR away from reality. While not all of the Hall & Oates lyrics apply to Naomi, the Gwen Stefani song fits her to a tee. No one can test her, not an assistant, not a limo driver, not a police officer... Hold on wait, she assaulted the police and didn't do any time?? In 2008, she assaulted TWO officers in Heathrow Airport and got off with a little fine and 200 hours of community service. Had this been NayNay Campbell from The Bronx assaulting the po-po, she'd be AGGRESSIVELY subdued and in jail for-e-verrrrr, for-e-verrr!

But no no no, this is The Grande Diva Naomi Campbell, Queen of the Catwalk and La Bella Boheme Du Monde (not to mention, arguably, the most recognizable BLACK face in fashion). Though her charges were dropped because the limo driver refused to press charges, what message is this sending? Get rich, act a fool, maul a lesser-than, and stroll off into the sunset. With a life like this, how could you not attack anyone that annoyed you, did you wrong or just had a dumb look on their face? When I grow up, I don't want to be rich, I want to be Naomi Campbell!

Trying Some New Things

I did a lil bit of a redesign.... it needs some work, but I'll keep it for now.

I'm doing something with an RSS feed and not sure how it's gonna work out because I am new to this web 2.0 lol...

Let me know what you think or how YOU can help a sister out... lol

Grown Folks Music: Raheem, Raheem, RAHEEM!

In case you didn't know... Raheem DeVaughn's newness dropped today: The Love & War Masterpeace. I haven't bought it YET... *looks over at my Mac waiting for me to submit my iTunes password for purchase* But I plan to when this is posted. I had to tell you I how I felt about it FIRST before I died of the vapors! WHEW!

So the first thing that struck me were the Cornel West interludes... MAJOR! So I assumed what I was about to hear was going to be some militant, power to the people, uplifting R&B. And I did, but that is NOT ALL! "Bulletproof" is the "What's Going On" of our generation, CLEARLY. "Nobody Wins a War" is real, true, and touching and it features some AMAZING TALENT including: Jill Scott, Chrisette Michelle, Dwele, Anthony Hamilton, Bilal, Algebra AND THEN SOME! And "Revelations 2010" with Damian Marley is as thought-provoking as it is mellow. However, it's barely 8 AM and what I heard between those songs was nothing short of deeeeeeep down lovemakingmusic. A few songs I had to skip, because I felt like I wasn't in the right relationship to have it in my spirit especially not this early in the morning! I feel my body temperature creeeeping up just thinking about what I heard. *tries to focus* Ok.... wait.... *takes a sip of water*

Alright where was I. Oh yeah, RAHEEM HAS DONE IT! ok? ok! I was listening to the album at Centric TV and I was digging the love vibe of the first few songs. Then, it got dowown! Right around "B.O.B" I had to start limiting my previews to about 45 seconds. I looked at the track listing & decided against listening to "Bedroom" because my head was still spinning from what he said in the minute or so of the song prior. SO I decided on "Microphone" because, I figured it was about music and performing... BOY WAS I WRONG! WOW was I wrong!

So in conclusion let me say, BUY THE CD! BUY IT NOW! But listen to tracks 10-13 with caution. It is sure to cause Female Hysteria (please click & read the second paragraph... NOW). Good job, Raheem, good job! But I am going to have to reserve songs 10-13 for my wedding night! lol

Disappointment

This morning I found out that a close male friend of mine was in a relationship. And under normal circumstances, I would be happy for him, congratualte him, ask questions about the girl, etc. But these circumstances were FAR from normal. See, this friend didn't call me all excited to tell me. Nor did he tell me when we talked just this weekend. This friend changed his relationship status on FB!

So I, of course, had to pull him to the side, via electronic message and express my EXTREME disappointment. Over the past year, he and I had become quite close. I held him in high esteem among my male friends. So for this to be how I found out left me absolutely crest-fallen. I was speaking to another male friend this morning about the term "disappointment" and how much DEEPER it is than getting upset or mad. Merriam-Webster defines the word "disappoint" as such: to fail to meet the expectation or hope of. Meaning I have placed my hope and expectations in you -something I do less and less to avoid EXACTLY this-  but you have not lived up to such. In essence, the trust has now been broken. That is harder to fix than just being mad or upset with someone, i have learned to get over those things quite easily.

What makes matters worse is that he said he started to tell me and couldn't. What or why he would think he couldn't tell me is BEYOND ME! I felt most betrayed because he knows that another one of my close friends had done a similar thing and how much that hurt me. Overall, if and when I do get over this disappointment... our friendship has been damaged and it won't get any harder and it' won't get and higher...

A disappointment.

Oh, you shouldn't have done,

You couldn't have done,

You wouldn't have done the things you did then...

But it won't get any harder,

And I hope you'll find your way again.

And it won't get any higher,

And it all boils down to what you did...

Image from: http://www.norcalblogs.com/bullfight/archives/disappointment.jpg

Messin With a Good Thing- Monica

I heard the sounds of Deniece Williams' Silly coming from my radio Monday. But what I heard was not Niecy AT ALL. It was Monica singing over MY SONG.

In '95, I had my friend make me a TAPE with that song on it 5 times so I wouldn't have to rewind it. THAT'S MY SONG! I used to write the words to that song on pieces of paper in my spare time in middle school. THAT'S MY SONG! When I randomly start crushing on a new guy or a guy that's not that good for me, I hear Silly playing in my head.THAT'S.... MY.... SONG!!!

And Monica DESTROYED IT! And here is why... the melody of Monica's song is the same as the sample... who does that? The words themselves are nice, I'll give her that. But there is something I am NOT digging with the use of the Silly sample. But I listened to it all the way through. and then she went & did it... she tried those awesomely beautiful notes at the end... the result of which was LAZY AND LOUSY! Thereby negating anything nice I had to say about the dern thing. What I WILL say is that that black & white houndstooth blouse in the video is MAGNIFIQUE! But that still doesn't make up for the lazy, lousy high notes at the end. C'mon Monica, man, THAT'S MY SONG!

Check it out for yourselves: